I love to be asked “thought – provoking” questions. I’m telling you the truth. I do. I’m talking about those questions that almost startle you. You know you’ve been thrown a “curve ball question” when you sort of tilt you head, furrow your brow, and your eyes gaze off momentarily into the “great-unknown”. A guttural, “mmmm” is the only response you can muster up. Typically, we begin formulating an immediate response to any given question, many times before the person is through asking it. But, then there are those questions…that, simply, have no immediate answer. I had such a question burning in me, a “by-product” of a conversation I had with a dear friend.
My friend had observed that faith, “my faith”, was a guiding force in my life during the terribly devastating events that unfolded in 2016. She’s THAT friend I have those deep, thought-provoking, mind-blowing conversations with on a consistent basis. After we talk, “my” conversations are not over when I hang up the call. No, after we hang up the phone, I am usually left with something to “gnaw” on, some “action-item” to work towards, and then there are those times my chest feels a little looser and I have more clarity about a given situation. She’s very dear to me, my coach and friend. I value her insight and feedback and to hear that she saw (and continues to see) my faith actively work in me was huge. Comforting. Yes, comforting, because I can say that “my faith” is the guiding force that propels me forward when I really didn’t want to move. Comforting because I can say AND know I have hope!
She did not ask me these questions. No, these are questions I ask of myself.
What is it about my faith? What does my faith hinge on? What is at the crux of my faith? What does my faith “look” like to the observer?
These were the burning questions after we talked. After some mulling and gnawing, one word came to mind.
Love.
Love.
Love.
Over and over, the response to each question in my head and heart.
Love.
I am a Christian; therefore, I believe and trust the Holy Bible and the essential, eternal truths that lie within. I was not questioning my faith, I was yearning to understand what does my faith hinge on and what does it look like to the non-Christian. “Love” was the response that kept coming up which brought me to a conversation Jesus had with someone attempting to test Him. This person, a lawyer, quite possibly, was not “genuine” in his motive for asking; however, I am eternally grateful for the question he posed.
This burning question is found in Matthew 22:36-40. This passage tells about Jesus being asked what is the “greatest commandment”. His response? “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind”. However, my Jesus doesn’t stop there. He keeps speaking and tells the inquirer about the second and “EQUALLY important” commandment. “You shall love your neighbor as yourself”.
Please don’t take my word for it. You go read it.
In a nutshell, there it is, folks. Love God and everybody He made.
BOOM! The answer to everything. Love.
Fact. Yes.
Easy. Not always.
We, Christians, are to love God and everybody He made … even THEM (whoever that is for you)!
It can be easy to love those that make your life, well, easy. Those people in your “inner circle” which can include your parents, siblings, spouse, children, co-workers, and friends. However, these same people may NOT make your life so easy. Maybe simply being in the same room as a co-worker is particularly challenging to you these days. Perhaps situations in your childhood have made spending time with family an extreme challenge. Possibly you have a “beef” with the person who lives down the street, you know, your literal neighbor. Was that checker at the grocery rude to you? Are you supposed to love her? Those of us who are New Orleans Saints fans, are we really to love “THAT” referee who neglected to make the game-changing call? YEP! Are we really called to love the person whose political beliefs are diametrically opposed to ours? You betcha!
Aw, come on now!!!
I believe “your neighbor”, as described in Matthew, is everyone God made, that’s everybody, us included. Love our neighbor, as ourselves.
How do we “love our neighbor” during those times it is a challenge to do so? If I may be completely honest, there are just some people who are difficult to love. Herein lies our challenge. If we follow the greatest commandment of loving God with our total being and do NOT actively and legitimately love those around us, are we truthfully loving God? Are we living out our faith?
I am presently re-reading Mere Christianity. C. S. Lewis, the author, denounced his Christian faith as a teenager, was a self-professed atheist in his 20s, came back to his Christian faith in adulthood, and became one of the most brilliant and prolific Christian thinkers and authors. While reading the other day, I came across this statement:
“Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor, act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.”
Woah! Act “as if”.
Sounds simple, right? Sure!
Is it? Nope.
This got me to thinking practically, how does one go about acting “as if” we love our neighbor as ourselves? I mean, genuinely, behaving “as if” we are loving our neighbor. If we aren’t genuine, it will come across as sarcastic, ingenuine, and fake. So how can genuinely act “as if”?
Let’s go back to “love your neighbor as yourself”.
Do you love yourself? Well, honestly, I will say, “I do”; mainly because that’s the “right” answer. There are times I don’t think I love myself. I allow myself to become engulfed in a bit of self-loathing, self-criticizing, and insecurity. Those are the times that I am separated from the fact that God created me; He loves me. To switch my perspective, I stop and realize this is just a thought pattern I am in at the present. I begin to recapture what “being loved” feels like and I allow myself to “feel” it. Then, over time, my thought patterns change. I love myself again.
However, when I dig deeper, I realize there are some aspects I do not love about myself. There are times I do not love what I do, say, and/or think. But, I do, in fact, love myself.
Get ready for a bit of a ride!
Although, I do not always love my actions, I do always wish myself well. I want things to go well in my life. I want God’s favor on my life. I desire positive outcomes in my life. So, I can say that one of the ways I show myself love is that I “wish myself well”. I literally want things to go well in my life!
Back to acting “as if”.
When I think about those times I find it difficult to “love my neighbor”, I don’t love what they are doing, saying, or thinking. It’s not that I am having difficulty loving one of God’s created beings – the person. No, I am having trouble with something about what they are doing, saying, or thinking. As with myself, I must separate the “creation” (aka, the person) from the “action” (i.e., what they are doing, saying, or thinking). So, I must “wish them well”.
This is how I show myself love. I genuinely want things to go well with me. So, I can love my neighbor by “wishing them well”. Wishing them well, it is.
How?
Here’s the tricky part. What is one thing I could do to “wish them well” today? There’s your burning question. Gnaw on that.
Maybe you could greet that co-worker in the morning with a hearty “Good morning.” Then, follow it up with an intentional look into their eyes and say, “I mean it, have a good morning”. Possibly, it’s speaking up for someone who’s made some “not so good” choices. Perhaps, you make a legitimate effort to give that person a word of encouragement or compliment. Consider praying for that person to have success in their endeavor.
None of these things cost a dime. None of them take time. Rarely, if any, effort is expended. Just simply, a shift in what you are focused on regarding that person. You aren’t focused on the negative. You are focused and determined to call attention to the good and positive.
I recently came across this quote by Dr. Eben Alexander, the spiritually – awakened, past atheist, now Christian neurosurgeon… “Every interaction in life is an opportunity to grow spiritually. Every interaction is perfect, in fact, for the spiritual growth of one’s self and everyone involved, given the choices that each party has made”. How we respond matters, not just in that moment, but eternally. C. S. Lewis says, “whenever we do good to another self, just because it is a self, made (like us) by God, and desiring its own happiness as we desire ours, we shall have learned to love it a little more or, at least, to dislike it less.”
So, how about it? How about taking the challenge to love your neighbor full-on!!! Wish them well in whatever way you see fit. I’d be interested in hearing about the “surprise” you receive when you discover you, truly, do…love THAT neighbor.
Savannah did indeed love ALL her neighbors. She loved her grandparents immensely. Meet my mom, her grandmother. This picture makes me smile SOOO big when I think how we surprised Savannah with a weekend Mardi Gras trip down south for her 18th birthday. Such good memories. Can you tell we had a blast?
Love your neighbor. I wish you well as you THRIVE!
Stephanie
If you would like to learn more about THRIVING in THIS life, please visit the Coaching pages at http://imalive2thrive.com/coaching/. For a general description of how coaching can help you click http://imalive2thrive.com/more-about-coaching/.