The “Present” of the PRESENT

Today marks 16 Fridays since Savannah moved on from this existence into Eternity.  Sixteen! How can this be? Yet, life continues to go on.  We have also celebrated another “anniversary” without Savannah.  February 20^th would have been her 22^nd birthday.  The day was “extremely” tender for us.  We traditionally do birthdays BIG at our house.  Yet, we spent most of the day in retrospection.  We cooked some of her favorite foods and reminisced about Savannah…her sweetness, her likes and dislikes, her goofiness, her wisdom. Yep, we miss her more than we have words to describe.   We must choose either to evolve or to stay stagnant … not an easy decision but a life-changing one, indeed.

Last Sunday, I had the honor to speak to First-West in West Monroe, LA to the life groups.  I want to officially thank them for allowing me to share about Savannah, lessons God revealed to us, and blessings bestowed on us during this time.  This was the first time Isabella had heard me speak about her sister.  It did me good for her to experience the collective, outpouring of love that naturally occurs at one of these gatherings.  This was the perfect way to begin our “week of remembrance”.

We’ve been going over how to thrive in our existence here on Earth.  I believe we are called to have an overflowing, abundant life; although, many of us are just trying to survive.  We have adopted the “this, too, shall pass” philosophy.  This is a debilitating philosophy to adopt to life because it causes you to literally wait for your life to pass you by. And, we literally do not know what our future holds. It seems to me that this philosophy is as though we “push the pause button” on our life.  Honestly, thinking back, I probably wanted to “push the pause button” many times while Savannah was sick –  just to collect my thoughts, process what was going on, or just scream … but I could not.  We did not have time, nor energy, to think, worry, get angry, or whatever.  We just had to live in the moment.

Once the gravity of her critical condition was realized and she was beginning to make small improvements, we found ourselves becoming encouraged about Savannah’s future.  Yes, she would need skin grafts over the majority of her body; reconstructive surgery on her nose, lips, and body; extensive physical and occupational therapy; and adapted equipment for the remainder of her life.  But, she had a future! We found ourselves thinking and getting excited about her future.  There is nothing wrong with being excited about the future.  However, when our focus remained on her future, we began neglecting the “present”.  When she would have a minor setback…we would have major disappointment.  I felt God urging me to “stay in the present, He had her future”.

On the flip side, when we focused on the past, we became stagnant and worrisome.  When we allowed to ask ourselves questions repeatedly … “What if I had called her more during the flood, would I have known she was sick?” “Why did this have to happen?” “What could she/I done differently?” These are good questions to ask, just not to dwell on. The reality of the situation is that there was no way I could have talked to her more, cell phone reception was down due to the flood; it’s not up to us to know the “why” to everything that happens to us, God is in control; and there is nothing that we could have done differently to avoid the inevitable.

About a month after Savannah moved into Eternity, I felt God say to me, “PLAN for the future, LEARN from the past, and LIVE in the present”.  I was reminded of a Facebook post I wrote in October.  I began to see the present as a “present” from God.

I posted on October 22, 2016…

I am so thankful for the “present”… I truly believe that the “present” is a true “present”—a GIFT from God. How I wished I remained in the “present” more when my girls were little and not worried about how they/we looked or performed, our schedules, or my “to do” list. But, I’ve learned it now, so “in the present, I remain!”

I left Isabella at the home of some dear friends from Ruston with a group of high school seniors, most of whom she’s grown up with. She was seated between two of the sweetest souls, fine young gentlemen, on each side of her. Her smile warmed me to the bones. I kept this “present” with me as I drove back to Shreveport to see my firstborn baby. I was given another “present” of those BIG, BEAUTIFUL BROWN EYES!! Lord Jesus, THANK YOU FOR THE PRESENT!!

Because I was able to focus on the present, I did not dwell on the past nor worry about the future.  I could “fully be” in the moment with Isabella on the drive from Shreveport to Ruston.  I could “fully be” with all the parents and young men and women Isabella was with before they left for their homecoming fesitivities.  I did not stress on my drive back to Shreveport.  I did not worry. I was able to have an enjoyable experience in the midst of a difficult situation.   Because I focused on the present, I was able to see the small blessings, or presents, God was giving me … seeing Isabella’s unguarded smile and Savannah’s big brown eyes again.  Had I been stressed or worried, I might have missed it.  I was able to “fully be”.

Call it whatever you want. Mindfulness. Living in the Moment. Practicing Presence.

It doesn’t matter to me.  What does matter is that we not neglect the present because we are worried about the past or too focused on the future.  We ought not “push the pause button” on our lives because we don’t want to feel the pain or stress of the situation.  This is all part of our existence.  This is part of the process of being human.  I believe that we can choose to allow these situations to make us better.  What can we learn from them? How can we help others going through similar situations?

Consider this quote of Betty Smith from her book, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn …

“Look at everything always as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time: Thus is your time on earth filled with glory.”

How would things be different for you if you looked at all things as if you were seeing it for the first or last time?  Would you be more observant? More appreciative? More grateful? More attentive? Less worried? I wonder …

I encourage you to “be in the moment” this week.

• Pay attention when your mind starts to wander when someone is talking to you. Pull yourself back to the conversation at hand … not the one in your head.
• Avoid thinking more about your next question or statement in the conversation than you are listening to what the other person is saying.
• Begin to look and anticipate small “presents” in your PRESENT. Acknowledge them. Remember them.
• When you start to worry about the future, ask yourself what you could do in the present to help the situation and do that … i.e., pray, ask someone to pray for you, consult a colleague, research a topic, etc.
• When you begin to dwell on the past, ask yourself what is one thing you can learn from this situation and could apply to the present. Then, do it!

I leave you with this last quote from Maya Angelou,

“We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends and living our lives.”

May you be blessed and THRIVE!

Stephanie