Bear With One Another

Go through. Bear with. Experience. Suffer. Withstand. Undergo. Survive.

Colossians 3:12-14 tells us to “…clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive any complaint you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity…”.

Love God.

Love Others.

It’s that simple. Really, it is.  Simple to conceptualize; however, challenging to fully manifest in our day-to-day living.

Matthew 22:37-39 reads, “Jesus declared, ‘Love the Lord you God with all you heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love you neighbor as yourself’.”

The key is to love God first. Love everything that is of God, His Word, His order, His will, His creation (that includes you), His “other” people…yes, that includes all people.

A little over ten years ago, the day after my 39^th birthday and MUCH to my surprise, I found out I was pregnant. Nope, not planned. Not planned AT ALL! Savannah was 12 and Isabella was almost 9.  After the initial shock subsided, we accepted the fact that we were going to be “old” parents to this baby and we became excited.  Ten and a half weeks later, we were devastated as I miscarried this “gift from God”.  As time progressed, we decided we would like, in fact, to be those “old” parents to another baby. So, I became pregnant again.  All was well, until I went for an ultrasound at around 12 weeks.  No heartbeat was found.  How could that be? No, not again. Not me! Not us!  No one can put to words the loss one feels when your baby moves into Eternity in utero.  It is a unique experience, all your own.  Only those who’ve experienced can conceptualize the awkward, debilitating grief as, not only your emotions heal, but so does your body and hormones.

During that experience, I realized that I had to learn how to allow people to express love to me.  I found myself struggling to look people in the eyes.  Their eyes would convey so much love, compassion, and empathy that I did not know how to process that.  I had always been on the giving end of love…never in a situation before where I so desperately needed love in order to heal.  I did not know how to “receive” this much love.  It felt, well, uncomfortable.  I was so used to taking care of my business…ALL…BY…MYSELF.  This was one of those times when I just couldn’t do this myself.  I learned to accept love, genuine love, from others.  I was pretty good at showing love to others, just not too good at receiving and accepting love FROM others. I learned.

I have been reminded this week of something I remember saying when asked how I was doing after these experiences.  I recall saying, “I believe that if we aren’t going through something ourselves, we are to be going through something with someone else”.

Go through. Bear with. Experience. Suffer. Withstand. Undergo. Survive.

I have spent the last week in the Caribbean on a cruise with my daughter and “at least a million” (well, what seemed like a million) 18-year-olds.  This was a time of rest, fun, and relaxation.  However, the “grief fog” did visit me from time to time upon my remembering that Savannah always wanted to go on a cruise but couldn’t go on this one because she was to be a bridesmaid in her first college roommate’s wedding that weekend.  I remember telling her that we would go on a cruise together soon.  The “grief fog” reminded me how much Savannah loved being with people and Isabella’s friends. Also, the “grief fog” reminded me that Savannah loved the beach and trying new things.  Oh, the “grief fog” even reminded me that the 24 /7 access to ice cream would have been Heaven on Earth for Savannah!  While I was gone on the trip and disconnected from social media, I re-connected with myself and Him.

Upon my return, and my ultimate return to social media, I was faced with the reality that people EVERYWHERE are facing devastating heartache and pain.  I am recently able to “feel” or “sense” other’s pain again.  Until very recently, I have been consumed with my own.  God is allowing me to sense other’s pain again, I believe, so that I can “bear with” them.  During the last week, people are facing their children and other loved ones moving into Eternity.  Others are facing devastating situations.  Yet, there are some who have been given “that” diagnosis and/or prognosis that you can’t humanly process.  People are GOING THROUGH stuff! All the time, people are going through stuff.  We are to love God and love others.  If we aren’t going through something, we ought to be going through something with someone else.

I want to encourage you that if you are going through something personally, allow others to love you.  Allow others to bless you with their time, money, acts of service, food…whatever.  Please don’t let your pride interfere with their opportunity to bless and be blessed.  Don’t get in the way of them following God’s commandments because it’s uncomfortable for you to receive love. We really are, as the goofy song says, “all in this together”.

I also want to encourage those who are NOT going through something personally, allow yourself to be open to blessing someone who is.  Partner with them.  You don’t have to know them physically to love them spiritually.  People, whom we have never met, partnered with us and prayed for Savannah (at all times during the day). Others donated money. Some donated their time and talents to put our house back together, yet some sacrificed their home and energy to support us.  Find someone to partner with and bear with one another.  This is God’s design.  I’ve been on the giving and receiving end…blessings are received to all.

I am looking forward to being at Calvary Baptist Church in Ruston, Louisiana this Sunday morning (June 11, 2017).  The following day, June 12, 2017, I will be speaking at a luncheon for professional women in Jackson, Mississippi at the First Baptist Church.  God is still giving me opportunities to thank those who partnered with us which, in turn, is helping me heal.

Please remember to “go through, bear with, experience, suffer, withstand, undergo, survive with one another.”

May you be blessed as you bear with one another and THRIVE!

Stephanie