Bulletproof Like a Butterfly

Butterflies.

Spring has sprung here in southern Louisiana.  With the burst of new growth from the winter comes … BUTTERFLIES!  I can’t really explain the fact, nor do I want to try, that butterflies have become extra-sentimental for me the last couple of years.  You see, for some reason unbeknownst to me, a yellow butterfly ALWAYS makes me think of Savannah, my precious firstborn.  I can’t express the sense of excitement, wonder, and anticipation I feel every time I see those yellow fluttering wings.  It’s as though I can sense Savannah being near-er to me.  Now, I am not going to engage in an “educated” discourse of dialogue about whether she is actually near to me or not.  That’s not my intention.  No, I just love the fact that when I see a yellow butterfly, my heart becomes warm and I am reminded of my sweet firstborn.  It’s during those times I am engrossed in watching that butterfly prance around, I thank God for giving me Savannah. Which then calls to my heart, Isabella, and I always thank Him for that punkin’, and, of course, my man, their precious dad, Tim.  Yep, yellow butterflies are a source of gratitude and thankfulness for me.   One of my dear friends who knows the pain of living with the loss of a child also sees butterflies and is appreciative and thankful that God cares enough to give us these reminders.  Her heart warms with love for Garrison when she sees a blue butterfly and she lets me know when Savannah comes to visit her.   Yes, indeed, thank You, Lord, for butterflies.

I was having a particularly “tender” day last week when I happened to see my first yellow butterfly of the season just prancing around from one leaf to another much like Savannah.  This prompted me to desire a whole backyard full of plants … not just any plants.  No, plants to attract butterflies.  Mother’s Day is approaching, and I thought how I would love the stage to be set to see and “feel” my baby more often.   I think it will be wonderful to look out in the back yard and see butterflies fluttering around from plant to plant and, all the while, my heart growing warmer and warmer with gratitude and thankfulness.  I told Tim I think I want butterfly plants for Mother’s Day. So, I guess a visit to a nursery is in my near future!

Back to the task at hand, I read up on butterflies.  It’s estimated there are around 17,500 species in the world today.  A butterfly is in a constant stage of change throughout its lifespan, a process called metamorphosis.  These changes do not come easy or without work.  “It ain’t easy becoming a butterfly!”  A butterfly lays eggs on a host plant.  When the egg hatches, it sheds its own skin several times over the course of time and the time it takes for the egg to hatch depends on the environmental conditions.  It could take days or even months.  Once hatched, shelter is sought.  Once the best place is found, the skin is shed one final time to form the chrysalis, or pupa.  Again, the time it remains in this condition could take days, weeks, or months dependent on the circumstances.  When the time is right, a fully-winged, stunning beautiful butterfly emerges, and the process begins again.

I thought of the parallels of butterflies and human beings.  As humans, we are in a constant state of change.  We move from one stage of life to another.  We are faced with different circumstances at any given time.  Dependent on the situations we face, we can grow, change, or “morph” like the butterfly into something more beautiful.  Once the change occurs, through hard work, diligence, and resilience, we can reach greater heights, experience a rich life, and bless others.  I want to be like a butterfly and constantly grow, or change, into something more beautiful.

To do so, requires work, diligence, and resilience, as shown by the butterfly.  THIS is where I must be intentional in assessing my perspective and mindset about any given situation I face.  This is where the work begins.  As I am continually faced with difficult situations, I’ve learned I must be aware of what I am thinking about these situations …  any situation. Prior to Savannah moving into Eternity, I lived much of my life simply from one day to another.  I moved from one crisis to another or from marking one item off the “To-Do” list to another, living life just simply marking each project “done” without any regard to my growth or response.  I just reacted and did what I always did … just living life with no regard to meaning or purpose.

Since November 2016, when Savannah moved into Eternity, I have had to make the choice to allow myself to grow.  This choice, like the butterfly, does not come easily with no effort.  No, this is an intentional choice I make, and it begins with the acknowledgement of my reaction to any given situation and the evaluation of that reaction.  For example, I have to monitor my exposure to social media fairly closely.  When I engage in mindless scrolling through the feeds, I can easily become engrossed in the façade of perfectly intact families while comparing my broken family to that ideal. This sets the stage for me to jump into the pit of despair and stunt my growth in that moment.  When I am mindlessly scrolling and I find myself feeling envious or hurt, I stop.  I ask, “Do I want to feel this way?”.  When the answer is “No”, then I ask myself another question, THE question that has prompted my growth.  Here it is … “How can I think about this differently?”  That’s my “go-to” question I ask myself when I am faced with a harsh reality, or a negative feeling, or a realization that I am in the “pit”.

“How can I think about this differently?”

Perspective.

I gain a new perspective.  This question gives the opportunity to see this situation from another perspective, then another, then another.  Soon, I am able to see the situation for what it is … a situation.  That’s it.  Just by being intentional with my thought process, I am able to consider God’s call on my life and how I can fulfil my purpose, not simply to react to my environment … to life’s curveballs thrown at me.  No, when I consider other perspectives of the same situation, I am able to stop this line of thinking that throws me into the pit.  I am able to see my place in the situation more clearly.  I am able to how I could support others in this situation.  I am able to see God working in this situation.

Like the metamorphosis of a beautiful butterfly, this takes work, diligence, and resilience.

I am up to it.

Bring it on!

Last week I shared the equation to thrive I have seen work in my life.

Perspective Change + Mindset Shift + Stress/Anxiety Management = New Philosophy

Simply stopping the non-productive line of thought and asking myself how I can think about this differently begins the process of growth.  Over time, this process will become more fluid, more reflexive. Over time, I’ve discovered that I can use this strategy with everything I am faced with throughout my life.

I was listening to the radio this morning and heard a song by Citizen’s Way, Bulletproof.  (You can watch the video here: https://youtu.be/z6DhNR3eO0U). “I got my armor now; no fear no doubt can shoot me down.”  Put on the full armor of God, gain perspective, and become bulletproof!  A butterfly continually works and is bulletproof!

Bulletproof.  Ain’t nothing gonna keep it from turning into a butterfly!

This is a sweet picture of my little butterfly, Savannah, before a dance recital.  Those were such golden and beautiful days.  Such warm memories for butterflies of past and present.  I also want to share this stunning picture taken by Jeff Perot of a gorgeous yellow butterfly.  Something touches my heart-strings when I look at this.  Thank you, God, for Savannah, for Jeff’s picture, and for butterflies.

I am bulletproof because of YOU and I desire to fly like a butterfly, no matter how hard I have to work!

Now, go be bulletproof like a butterfly and THRIVE!

Stephanie