What a Difference a Year Can Make

Out of nowhere, Facebook reminds you of past events and moments.  Pictures stimulate a remembering of times past. Family and friends call attention to precious time with one another.  A sight, a sound, a smell can cause memories to flood your brain. The most sacred or precious of memories that I have do not include remembering how we looked, what we wore, how much money we were making, or what scores we made on tests.  Memories, for me, are much more guttural, emotional, than physical.  My memories are filled with feelings, not facts.

This picture greets me every morning when I turn on the computer.  I inherited Savannah’s computer and this is her wallpaper that pops up.  What a sweet picture of my smiling babies!!! This was taken last Easter. Man, what a difference a year can make! I would have never believed we would become a family of three during one of Isabella’s most pivotal years (her senior year of high school).  I would have expected Isabella to be getting ready to graduate, but not without her sister. This picture represents such happy times (although we didn’t realize how happy we really were). Today, we are living in “different” times that have an occasional sprinkling of “happiness” here and there.

As I sit here, on Holy Good Friday, I reflect on what God may have felt when His Son was betrayed, tortured, and killed.  Even though He knew the final outcome (that He would rise from the tomb in a few days), the pain and agony was still there …  so much so, He had to look away. And, even so, could He have been more proud of His Son, following through on a Divine Plan so that all who called on His name could be with Him in Paradise, forever?  I think not. Although, I know I will be with Savannah in Eternity, I am still heartbroken. Yet, at the same time, proud and honored to be her mother.

My mind then moves into the future as I sit here this morning on my back porch.  What will happen this next year in my life? I have no clue.  I realize that I do not have ultimate control over people, events, and circumstances.  Yes, I can micromanage situations to some degree, but, ultimately, I am not in control of anything, but me. What I am in control of is my reactions to others, the thoughts I allow, and actions towards my circumstances and others.

So, what will this year hold for me?

A focus on PRESENCE.  Being present every moment.  When my mind starts to wonder when I am with others, I will bring it back to focus on who I am with at this moment. I am going to be intentional to APPRECIATE EVERY MOMENT AND PERSON given to me.  We are only promised THIS moment, so I am not going to allow myself to stay distracted when I am with someone.

A focus on OFFERING GRACE TO OTHERS. I have a newfound appreciation for people in crisis.  I never know who is in a crisis at any time. I am going to make a concerted effort to give people “the benefit of the doubt”, a “pass”, or a “bye”.  I am going to consciously remind myself that we are all just trying to do our best (even though I don’t agree with the way you’re going about it … I am going to give you grace).

A focus on LOVE. Just love, and love BIG.  Love everybody that comes into my path.  I know this isn’t always going to be easy.  So what? Love is all that matters.  So this year, I’m going to love.

A focus on FAITH.  Although my faith has been challenged this year (beyond what I could have imagined), it has strengthened.  I choose FAITH.  I choose to have faith despite my circumstances and desires.

As I refine my focus for this next year, I am planning on “making memories”.  Yes, these memories will be bittersweet without Savannah.  However, I will have an eternity with her and the rest of my family … one day.  This gives me hope to carry on.  I am determined to make the most of the every moment I am given here on Earth.  THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT!!!

What will a year hold for you? 

If we are not intentional, we will not move forward.

Are you going to make some changes in your life?

What better time than the resurrection of our Savior to begin a “new” life, a “new” perspective, a “new” way of thinking?

May this year be full of “precious memories” for you.  May you be “intentional” in your memory making. Next Easter, may you look back on the previous year and be flooded with “precious memories” and the acknowledgement that you, not only survived this year, but you THRIVED!

God Bless,

Stephanie