Do Something DIFFERENT!

New Beginnings … 

Growth … 

Both are concepts I’ve been mulling over the last couple of months. 

A “new beginning” suggests I must start over.  We are so performance-driven that many times we season our “starting overs” with negativity and dread.  “UGH!  You mean I have to do this all over again!!!!”

Sometimes, we just need to begin again to gain a fresh perspective. Other times, we need to try out a new way of accomplishing something. There are times nothing is wrong, we just need to leave it for a while to be able to see the whole picture. 

Regardless of why a new beginning occurs, the fact is that “new beginnings” are inherent with growth.  “Growth” is a process where the “old” transforms into the “new”.  Growth is the transition from “what was” to “what will be”.  Growth is a process, not a static destination.  We begin a process to reach a destination, or a goal.  Once the goal is met or we arrive at our destination, we look back and see how far we’ve come.  THAT is the growth we’ve made!  The “looking back” allows us to see how much we’ve grown during the process. 

I’ve read that Albert Einstein is credited to saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results”.  I’m not so sure about the “insanity” part but I do believe it’s fruitless to keep doing the same thing when I want a different result.  I have approached life by saying “if we always do what we always do, then we will always do what we always do”.   Meaning, to move forward, we must do something different.

Let’s take tennis, for example. I’ve been in a slump lately.  Yeah, I know that sounds kinda odd that “I’m in a slump” when I’ve only played a year, but it feels like I’ve been in a slump.  I didn’t play much tennis in December and January and when I hit the courts in February, in the back of my mind, I thought I would have it all together! I mean, I expected my serve to be ON, my forehand to be untouchable, my speed to be breathtaking, the overheads to be smashing … you get the picture.  I was expecting to rock those courts.  Be amazing!  Well, I absolutely was not! 

In fact, I found myself losing every match I played!  On top of the losses, I was “bothered” that I was “bothered” by losing.  You see, I got into tennis, NOT to win … no.  I began playing tennis for the emotional, social, and physical boost it offered.  I was “in” to tennis for the boost to my overall well-being.  Tennis gave me a platform to “practice what I preached”.  Positive self-talk.  Visualization.  Exercise.  Mindset.  Oh yeah, tennis allowed me to put these “practices” into practice!  So, when I found myself in a slump, I was shocked, really shocked. 

I doubled-faulted…AGAIN! What’s that about?
What’s up with my forehand?  Out, again?  Why won’t it go over the net? 
Why am I so sluggish?
Overhead? Not me, I’m not even going to try.  I’ll miss it anyway. 
Yep, I was in a slump.  I was trying to focus on my weaknesses and correct my mistakes. 

Watch the ball hit my strings.
Follow through.
Get my racket back sooner.
Brush up on the ball. 
Move your feet.
Focus on the mechanics and my mindset.  What was wrong?  Why wasn’t it working? I’m definitely in a slump.

To add an extra layer of stress on top of my slump, one of the teams I played on won the state championship in November and we were leaving for the southern sectional tournament in Mobile, AL.  It’s bad enough to be in a slump by yourself, but to let my team down?!?!  To say I was stressed was a gross underestimate. 

Three days before I was to leave for Sectionals and smack-dab in the middle of my slump and stress, FINALLY, a new beginning.  A fresh perspective!

It came in the form of a “happenstance” occurrence.  (I put that in quotes because I believe it was a Divine appointment where God allowed me to hear just the words I needed at just the perfect moment.)

You see, my friend and I were walking out of a restaurant, when she saw someone she knew.  This person was well-aware my friend was going to the sectional competition that weekend and began giving her “the talk” and was unaware I would be joining her.  As she introduced me, she gave me a compliment about my forehand to which I started back-tracking.  I let the slump take over and discounted the compliments she was giving me.  It was at this moment, my “new beginning” began.

The second I started sharing my negativity and discounting my friend’s compliments, I was faced with, “You shut your mouth right there.  I don’t like that kind of talk.  She obviously has a level of respect for your forehand and you are discounting that. You do what you do well, and you shut your mouth about it.”

BAM! 

There it was! 

My focus was all wrong!  I was focused on my weaknesses, not my strengths!

You see, I’ve read the research on a strengths-based approach.  I love this kind of mindset – awareness, positive psychology stuff!  This kind of perspective-shifting is what I do well … for other people.  However, when it came to me, I succumbed to the “woe is me”, “I’m no good” kind-of-thinking and behaving.  I needed to stir the pot and was using the wrong spoon to get the job done!  I just needed someone to shake it up for me.

This is what I needed to move into the tournament and the subsequent tennis matches.  Shift my focus to what I do well and do it!  Placing less emphasis on what I was doing wrong while accentuating my strengths, my game had changed with my focus shifted.  I am enjoying tennis again.

Spring is upon us.  New growth is everywhere.  The dead, dark, and withered is coming alive.  With growth, comes awareness and continued work.  Don’t be afraid to stir the pot with a different spoon.  If what you’re doing isn’t working, or you desire a different result, start focusing on what you do well, begin to look for opportunities to showcase and appreciate your strengths.

The road toward growth might get bumpy.   I love this picture of Savannah with eyes closed tight and smile as big as her face.  She is facing the sun, but we HAD to take a picture.  Sometimes you, too, are facing the sun and can’t seem to see what’s in front of you.  Just shift your perspective and smile big knowing growth is happening!

Do something different and THRIVE!
Stephanie