“Don’t Worry, Be Happy”

Worry.

At some or another we’ve all done it and, unless we make a concerted effort not to, we WILL do it again.  It gets us nowhere and accomplishes absolutely nothing.  There is no positive benefit from worrying.  Merriam – Webster says that worry is “mental distress or agitation resulting from concern usually for something impending or anticipated”.  It goes on to say that worry is “to move, proceed, or progress by unceasing or difficult effort”.  People who worry incessantly tend to feel that it is their duty to worry.  If they think it, then they must worry about it.  “If I worry about this, then maybe I can prevent it from happening”.  If that were the case, then nothing “bad” or “negative” would ever happen, because we could control it.

I ask, how does one thrive while “moving, proceeding, or progressing by UNCEASING or DIFFICULT effort”? I think it’s pretty obvious…worrying and thriving do not go together.  They cannot co-exist.

If we believe that we are to thrive in this existence (while here on Earth), then why allow ourselves to worry?  It’s time for a reality check…worrying does ABSOLUTELY nothing to prevent a situation from occurring.  Yes, if you let your worry be known, MAYBE, just maybe, you may postpone a crisis. But, the truth is, bad things happen.  Yes, we must make the choice to be responsible, mature, and cognizant of the best way to approach a situation.  However, worrying will not add another day to your life! Check out this passage (Luke 12:22-34):

Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.

Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air: They do not sow or reap or gather into barns—and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his lifespan? 

And why do you worry about clothes? Consider how the lilies of the field grow: They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his glory was adorned like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 

Therefore, do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans pursue all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. 

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.

Let me be clear, do not think for a minute that I do not worry about anything.   Don’t think that I have it all together.  I am writing to myself, as well as, to anyone else who may battle with worry. Yes, indeed I have and probably will continue to have moments where I worry.  I not only have a genetic predisposition to worrying, I now have lived through and am living through one of my unspoken worries (the loss of a precious child).

Worry is:

Real and Present,

Painful,

Agonizing,

Detrimental to relationships,

Disrespectful to others,

Dangerous to self and others,

A cause of mental dysfunction,

A cause of physical distress,

An interference in spiritual growth, and

Never-ending.

Worry is a vicious cycle.  Worry begets more worry.  No progress is made and no positive can come from excessive worry.

I probably should say that all worry is NOT BAD.  Occasional worry may be helpful if it promotes a responsible action.  For example, if I know that there is a wreck ahead on the interstate, I may have a momentary worry that I may get stuck in traffic (which happens frequently in Baton Rouge). This momentary worry (or thought) can promote a positive change in that I can check my map app on my phone and determine an alternate route to avoid traffic.  This is not what I am referring to when I say that “worry gets us nowhere”.  I am talking about the worry that is relentless and incessant.  This type of worry IS fruitless does lead to NOWHERE!

What to do if you find yourself an incessant worrier? Don’t give up. There’s always hope!  You have a choice to make.  Do you want to continue to worry and become a victim of the proverbial dog chasing his tail OR do you want to finally give up that chase and find peace and freedom from worry?

I hope you want to give up chasing the tail of worry. I’ll share a few things that I do when I find myself chasing my tail…

• Acknowledge I am worrying.
• Pray.
• Determine if there is anything I can do to change the outcome. If so, do it. (Note: This does not include manipulating circumstances or situations.  This does not include shaming, lying, or “pitching a fit”.) Determine whether there is any support I can provide to someone.
• Pray.
• If there is nothing I can physically do to change the outcome, I pray.
• Pray.
• Remind myself of the facts. Determine what is true in this situation or about this person you are worrying about.
• Pray.
• Talk to someone about your worry.
• Pray.
• Leave it to God and move on.

Did you happen to see a pattern evolve?  Pray, above all else, pray.  Pray for the situation, pray for yourself, pray, pray, pray.

Isabella, our youngest, is graduating high school in a few days.  She is on the cusp of newfound independence.  She is about to enter the next phase of her life.  Yes, I could worry.  Yes, I could be sad.  Yes, I could smother her with mommy-ness.  However, I choose not to.  That simple. I choose not to because that is not what is best for her…or me!   We were talking a while back ago and she shared how difficult it is to think about graduation and transition to college, without her sister.  I admitted to her that (if I were to be completely honest), I would love to pack her, Tim, my 70-pound standard poodle (and the crazy pound puppy) up and move to a ranch in the mountains of northern New Mexico away from any and all things. Just go away! But, I KNOW that is not what is in store for me and what is not best for her or our family.  She will move on toward college and thrive … as I will continue to choose to thrive in my existence.

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.  A bittersweet day for so many.  Enjoy the day with your mom or thinking of your mom or being a mom to someone who does not have one here with them.  The picture above is a  frame that Savannah and Isabella gave me a couple of years ago. The picture is when Savannah graduated high school…what beautiful times!

Be blessed and enjoy a little tune from Bobby McFerrin, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” at this link: https://youtu.be/d-diB65scQU.

Don’t Worry, BE HAPPY and THRIVE!

Stephanie