When I prepare for a speaking engagement or a coaching session, I always ask what the focus should be … specifically, I inquire about what topic I should speak on for an event or what would the client like to work on during that current session. As I was preparing for today’s blog, a common them has become clear. Yes, it became increasingly obvious to me frequently the “topic” or “focus” requires mindset shift or perspective change. I guess we could say that these are “hot topics” in my world.
Mindset shifts/perspective changes are needed, from time to time, in all aspects of our lives; spiritually, personally, occupationally, and recreationally. This became evident when I looked back at the varied groups I’ve spoken to over the last 27 months since my first speaking engagement. I’ve had the privilege to speak to diverse groups of people in various settings. I’ve spoken in spiritual settings; businesses; organizations; a prison; and various educational settings. For example, I’ve spoken to varied groups (i.e. women and men; senior citizens to children (and everyone in between); the bereaved and the “not yet”; those who are behind bars and those who arrested them; educators, administrators, and students; small business owners and statewide organizations; employees and volunteers; for profit and not-for-profit agencies; impoverished and affluent). When coaching individuals, the simple prompt to entertain other ways of looking at the same situation has provided new insight and progress toward goal achievement for clients. Perspective change and mindset shift has been requested at some level by most everyone I’ve encountered over the last couple of years.
Regardless of the group of individuals or what setting they find themselves in, seeing situations from different perspectives and choosing to evaluate mindsets about the situation is not only relevant, but necessary. Living a thriving life requires us to continually evaluate our perspective and the resulting mindset. It’s as though the thrivers, or those who thrive, allow perspective change and mindset shift to permeate every aspect of their lives. I use the word, “permeate”, intentionally. According to Merriam-Webster, permeate means “to diffuse through or penetrate something”. Said another way, “to pass or spread through (something)”. It seems to me, as we are passing through this life, we can filter our situations. Yes, we can filter our situations through the constant evaluation of our perspective and change our mindset, if needed. When we frequently remind ourselves of the fact (we can look at our situations differently), we gain a new, and more whole, perspective of the situation. We can think more clearly, make more positive choices, improve our sense of well-being, and benefit the Greater Good.
I can’t believe it’s been almost 2 ½ years since Savannah, our firstborn, moved into Eternity and our lives forever changed. (No joke … I gasped out loud when I realized it had been 29 months!) I must take control of my mindset before it hijacks me. I’ve studied, thought about, prayed over, spoke about, and coached others regarding perspective changes and mindset shift. I’ve investigated growth vs. fixed mindsets, positive psychology, findings one’s life purpose, spiritual growth, Biblical truths, and practices to support well-being … NOT because these are current popular topics. No, out of pure survival. I had to figure out how to live with and through this indescribable grief.
Please do not be mistaken. Evaluating my perspective and taking control of my mindset are choices and do NOT come easy. This new way of living and thinking does not come naturally. It is a process, not a “one and done” kind of thing. Frankly, there are times I don’t even want to do the work needed. Nope, sometimes I want to just “sit in it” a while. However, when I’m faced with that tired-of-being-tired and sick-of-being-sick feeling, I realize it’s time to put in the mental and physical work needed to get out of the pit.
As I was preparing for a recent talk, a “formula” of sorts came to me. Maybe “illustration” is more applicable. This formula/illustration visually represents what I continually do to keep moving forward, you know, to thrive.
Perspective Change + Mindset Shift + Stress/Anxiety Management = New Philosophy
Over the next 4 weeks’ blogs, I will share something about each factor, or practice, in more detail. I will share specifics on what I have found I simply must do to continue moving forward. Putting each of these 3 factors into place in my life has given me such rich insight. I KNOW each moment is a GIFT, an honest gift from God. I know I am not promised a second more, neither are those I love. So, here’s my new philosophy on life nowadays … I,
- Choose to appreciate each moment…whether pleasurable or not.
- How I wish I had another moment with Savannah and didn’t have to wait until Eternity! Time was created for us as humans. I believe this time is a precious gift. Our affluent society has created a reliance on pleasure and comfort to such a degree that we ignore or negate the negative or difficult because they don’t make us “feel” good. Oh, how I would trade “this” moment for one of my more “unpleasurable” moments with Savannah. I would love to have just a little more TIME. I can choose how I approach and appreciate each moment given to me.
- Choose to evaluate my mindset in every situation.
- As humans, we are not born with a positive, happy-go-lucky mindset. To the contrary, we are hard-wired to be judgy, pessimistic, and safe. I allow myself to look at a situation, MY situation, from different perspectives. I filter my thoughts, feelings, and perceptions through what I know to be true. I make the choice to see possibilities and not just faults and failures.
- Choose to put others before me … the Greater Good.
- Research says we receive more fulfillment and well-being when we are helping and supporting others. I choose to allow myself to be “uncomfortable” if someone else can benefit. Savannah sure did. I feel this what we are to do while on Earth, just as Jesus Christ did for us.
Life gets hard, unbearable, sometimes. Waves crash over us and it feels like we are drowning. We can feel alone other times. I’ve owned the fact that this philosophy toward life did not come easy, is not always pleasurable, or feels comfortable. So, WHY put myself through these mental exercises and constant spiritual evaluation? I’ve discovered three reasons I make this choice:
- To Survive – I simply must so I can keep breathing. I can get DEEP in the pit of despair if I am not intentionally evaluating myself.
- I’m Still Here – God is leaving me here on Earth for a purpose. It’s my job to discover my purpose and work until I breathe my last breath fulfilling His purpose for me.
- Scriptural Truths – God put us on Earth to thrive. It’s scriptural. Go read for yourself John 10:10. Here’s the Amplified Version, “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows]”. Awful, indescribable things happen, but we can choose to thrive despite our circumstances. It’s the reason why Jesus did what HE did! (Now, here’s something to think about as Easter approaches…)
Savannah was an optimist. This picture shows that. You get to see ol’ Fernie, too, our Westie who lived to be almost 15 years old. His outlook on life was more of a “glass half-empty” way of looking at things. Isabella is giving her impression of Fernie and Savannah is just being Savannah.
Yes, Savannah approached her life with a “glass half-full” philosophy. I think it’s safe to say, on so many levels, she is an ETERNAL OPTIMIST. While she was here with us, she had the priceless, yet uncanny, ability to turn negative or difficult situations so quickly into something positive or an avenue for growth. I believe she had an innate ability to do this. However, don’t despair if you weren’t born an optimist. Research is clear, and I am here to testify, we can choose our mindset or our take on life’s circumstances. It just requires some work on our part.
Savannah chose to thrive and so do I. You, too, can CHOOSE to thrive.
Go grab your filter of perspective change and mindset shifts and THRIVE!
Stephanie