It Is What It Is

The phrase, “It Is What It Is”, reminds me of a couple of years ago when this was my self-professed motto.  The beautiful thing about working in the field of public education is that each school year has a distinct beginning and a distinct end. School years roll by like the waves of the ocean coming in and going out.  Sometimes you can float by and enjoy the waves … other years, not so much.  Those were the years that waves come crashing on top of you, barely allowing you the ability to take a breath and get ready for the next wave. Life, in general, is like this.

It is what it is. 

During one of “those” years, I had an epiphany.  I found myself stressed to the max.  Each “IT” (or perceived stressful circumstance, person, situation, or project) built on the previous one and I just didn’t feel I could catch a break … I felt like I was drowning.  I just HAD to do something!  I couldn’t function with this constant level of high stress.  Quite simply, I must make a change.  I became determined to look at any difficult and/or stressful situation and say, “It is what it is”.  Simple choice to say, indeed.

It is what it is.

You can say one thing (just look at this situation differently), but doing it is another thing entirely.  The work came when I had to realize there wasn’t much I could do about the “IT”, but I could determine what I did WITH the “IT”.  Yes, I could get hung up on the “IT”, but why? What good would it do me to allow the “IT” to contribute to me getting fed up, overwhelmed, anxious, upset, and/or insecure?  Reminding myself that years come and go, this moment is a gift,  and the choice is mine whether I freak out about “IT”, or not was my “saving grace” or life preserver to use when the waves hit.  This epiphany was both liberating AND powerful.  Liberating because I was no longer bound to the “IT”. Powerful because I was able to move on from “IT”.  I evaluated this “IT” for what “IT” was and asked myself what I could learn from “IT”.

It is what it is.

Tim, Savannah, Isabella, and I have certainly had a “crashing wave” kind of year.  One year ago this week, our family went on our last family vacation as a family of four.  What a grand time we had! I am so thankful for our week in Naples, Florida.  However, in August, our house flooded and our firstborn became critically ill while at college.  Then, in November, our firstborn, Savannah, moved into Eternity at the young age of 21. We have had multiple, intense “ITs” attempting to crush us.  We could have let the ITs drown us but we have come to realize there is nothing we could have done to change the circumstances.  We did not live in a flood zone (“It NEVER floods in this neighborhood”) and Savannah was a healthy, 21-year old college student.  You cannot prepare for, nor prevent yourself from “infections of unknown origin”.  Bottom line: nothing could have been done to prevent these “ITs” from happening, or said another way (in the Book of Stephanie), IT’s just HAPPEN and there ain’t nothin’ you can do about it!

It is what it is.

I feel the need to assure you that making ourselves appreciate that “it is what it is” does not discount the fact that our hearts continue to be broken. We live with a void that is immeasurable and unthinkable. This IT was an IT that is immense. However, we choose to look at our life as a process that includes waves (ITs) that knock the breath out of us sometimes.  A process that we allow to teach us things.  We choose to keep going.  Realizing we are the one in control of our mindset begins setting the stage for a richer lifetime of learning.  Taking inventory of our mindset helps us learn from our “IT”.  Our “IT” becomes something that can make us better, if we choose to allow the change.

“How can I look at this differently?” is a question that I ask myself frequently when I begin to feel like I’m being hit with those crashing waves.  “What can I learn from this (IT)?” is another one.  I start considering what I can do with the “IT” instead of being focused on the “IT” and how terrible “IT” is.

This picture was taken about 3 years ago at the beach on another little family vacation.  Oh, how I have such an appreciation of our “sacred” family vacations!  It was about to start raining and there were storms looming in the distance.  We were not deterred from taking that “mandatory” family beach picture.  I think this is a perfect representation of “IT IS WHAT IT IS”!  A great time to take a picture, even though we had to run off the beach when the rain hit.  If you can’t change it, celebrate it!

Check your mindset, realize “it is what it is”, and THRIVE!

Stephanie