One Question …

I have a hard time believing this is the fourth weekly blog and the 15^th Friday since Savannah moved into Eternity.  This Monday, February 20^th, would have been my firstborn’s 22^nd birthday. I can still remember the excitement of that exhilarating day in 1995 when she was born.  She was three weeks past her due date! We thought this day would NEVER COME! Never had I EVER seen such a more beautiful bald-headed baby (I am sure most mothers and fathers can relate)! We miss her immensely and would love to hear her voice one more time.  She called me most days and oftentimes several times a day as she walked to and from class and/or work…just to check in and check on us.  Memories.  Such good memories.

I am still so appreciative of the opportunities given to me to talk about Savannah and personally “thank” those who supported and prayed for us during our journey.  This has truly been healing for me.  This Sunday, February 19^th, I will be speaking at First West at Feazel Chapel in West Monroe, LA to their life groups. I can’t wait!

I’ve been mulling over what it looks like to THRIVE in this life.  I understood there needed to be some changes in my life in order for me to begin “thriving”.  I had to “choose” to thrive despite my circumstances and, also, change my mindset about my circumstances and situations.  These steps were crucial in initiating the “thriving process”.

Next, I had to think about what it would mean to thrive.  I mean, REALLY THINK about it.  I, then, had to spend time and process what changes needed to be made in my life, not only my thought-life or mindset, but actual and physical changes regarding my time, priorities, and sacrifices.

So, this leads me to the next step.  I want to ask a question.

This is not a question that has a “right” or “wrong” answer.  This is a question you can choose to let be and roll over your head OR  a question you can mull over, process, consider.  This is a question that is not easy to ask, nor easy to answer.  This is a question that can be life-changing, not only for you, but for those you love and come in contact with daily.  This is a good question to promote change. So, here goes…

What would be different in your life if you or someone you loved

had only 10½ weeks left here on Earth?

Ouch!

This is not a question we want to ask, think about, and especially not one we want to answer.  I can honestly reveal to you that this is not a question I ever pondered.  Who wants to think about ourselves or those we love NOT being here with us? I certainly didn’t! I honestly never considered that possibility.  I spent more energy thinking about what I wanted for my future …  independent children with successful careers … daughters married to wonderful, God-fearing men … grandkids … retirement in Red River, New Mexico … growing old with my “hunka-hunka burnin’ LOVE” … taking care of our parents … traveling with friends and family … you know, the American Dream stuff. Looking back, I spent more time thinking about my endless “to-do” list and planning for the future.  I spent very little time IN THE PRESENT.

One day, while Savannah was in the hospital, I remember feeling discouraged and disheartened by what I was considering a “setback” for her.  Clear as anyone speaking to me, I felt in my Spirit, “I have her future, you stay in the present”.

“I have her future, you stay in the PRESENT.”

Gnaw on that nugget for a bit.

How would our lives change if we focused more on the present? Would we be … Less Stressed? More Attentive? More Focused? More Engaged?

I can tell you that I don’t have any “regrets” when it comes to my relationship with my husband and children.  (By the way, if you do have regrets…go take care of them…NOW…don’t wait!) Although, I don’t have regrets, I have thought about being more “present” in my relationships … I’ve thought A LOT about being more present.  What I think would have changed in regards to these conversations with Savannah, would be that I would have not been so quick to get off the phone with Savannah and get back to work or “whatever” I was doing … if … I had realized the NUMBER of conversations I would have with her was running out.

A typical telephone conversation would start with me saying, “Hello”.

She following it up with a quick, “Whatcha doin’?”

I would say, “Working”, then, me asking, “What about you?”

She would respond with, “Just walking to class or work”.

We would have a short interchange.

And, close it out with us saying, “Love you”, then she’d say, “K, bye”.

Many times, I was multi-tasking on the computer, folding clothes, etc. while I was on the phone with her … not devoting my energy and attention on her.  OH, how I’d love to have another one of those conversations!  Another thing I would do differently is make sure I said, “I love you” deeply and heartfelt.  Unfortunately, saying this had almost become commonplace for me.  Oh, yes, I loved her. But, I think I “just” said it sometimes, because that’s what we do!  Oh, how I love these two girls of mine! These are just two examples of how I would change if I had known I had a limited number of telephone conversations with my Savannah.

During our “gift” of 10½ weeks, we were attentive to Savannah.  We did not know we just had 10½  weeks! We “felt” every word we spoke with her.  We did not talk about her performance or what she did.  We did, however, talk about her character… and ways we were proud of the young woman she had become.  We discussed relationships and how much she was loved.  Character, love, and relationships: three things that matter to me.

During the six weeks after Savannah moved into Eternity, a lot of “soul-searching” was going on within me.  I discovered that a choice had to be made whether to THRIVE or not, then my mindset about my circumstances and situations had to change … I had to start to see life as full of opportunities NOT a place on an endless “to-do” list.

I had to determine what was truly important to me.  Part of this process involved me looking at my life and assessing my priorities.  I asked myself this question … the one above … What would be different if … ?

Presently, I find myself more focused on those close to me, in addition to, being more focused on those I come I contact with during my day.  I find myself affording more grace to those around me who are struggling. I find myself looking for ways to encourage others.  I find myself feeling less stressed about what I “gotta” do. I find myself wanting to do more for others than myself. I find myself yearning for others to THRIVE.  Now, I have a long way to go, but I am moving forward in thriving in this life.

If you’re serious about THRIVING in this life on Earth, you must evaluate what is important to you.  Take inventory of what matters to you.  Write these things down.  Take ownership of them.  If not, life will continue to pass you by.

So, I ask you one question …

What would be different in your life if you or someone you loved

had only 10 ½ weeks left here on Earth?

Blessings to you and yours as you … THRIVE!!!

Stephanie