Viktor E. Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, says, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Furthermore, he says “our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our own attitude”. “Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become the next moment. By the same token, every human being has the freedom to change at any instant.”
A person I’ve recently befriended reminded me yesterday about this book. I had read this book many moons ago while in college. At that time and since then, “nuggets” from this book have impacted me greatly during the 30+ years since reading it. I’ve thought about this book off and on since reading it the first time, back in the 1980s. The author of this book became an internationally renowned psychiatrist after surviving Auschwitz and Dachau concentration camps. I believe he is remarkable, not simply because he survived. Remarkable, in that he found a way to thrive amidst unthinkable conditions. Conditions the human brain is unable to process adequately.
He realized that “they” could take EVERYTHING away from him; with the exception of his attitude (or how he responded to these devastating events). He realized that he could not change his circumstances; however, he could change the way he thought about these circumstances. He further discusses “tragic optimism” which he notes as “optimism in spite of tragic circumstances”, yes, even those circumstances including pain, guilt, and/or death. He notes that “what matters is to make the best of any given situation”. Another nugget of Viktor Frankl’s is “what is to give light must endure burning”. When discussing “tragic optimism” more in-depth, he quotes a man, a paraplegic, saying, “I broke my neck, it didn’t break me”.
‘I broke my neck, it didn’t break me.”
“I broke my neck, it didn’t break me.”
Those are a lot of “nuggets” to gnaw on.
As I lay down each night during the last week and a half, I do what I always do … I process, analyze, and review the events of the day. Well, the last ten days in my world have included a young man facing a traumatic diagnosis and treatment; another young man losing his mother to a shocking automobile accident; a daughter watching her mother of 90 years move into Eternity; and a son by his father’s bedside watching him being sustained by medicine and technology. Each one of these events can cause someone living through them to “cease” or “stop moving”. Each of these events are traumatic, shocking, heart-wrenching, even “unbearable” at times. Both funerals I attended provided the family and friends an opportunity to grieve their loss; while celebrating the lives of these two women who, whether they were aware of it or not, were inspirational and progressive. Upon leaving these celebrations, I heard people wanting to move forward, take risks, touch lives, and love others. I wonder … will they move forward, take risks, touch lives, love others? Will they make the choice?
It usually takes me a while to get to sleep but once I’m asleep, I’m out! Well, Monday morning around 3 am I smooth woke up! These sweet souls were swirling in my mind. I prayed, thanked God for their lives, and just couldn’t get back to sleep. I was thinking of things, or nuggets, I learned from these precious souls.
While lying in bed, here’s what I was reminded of:
- NEVER lose hope and keep on going;
- LIVE your life and do NOT let fear interfere with forward progression; and
- living a life full of GRATITUDE will result in a lifetime of “no regrets”.
My firstborn, Savannah, was in ICU for 10 ½ weeks before moving into Eternity. I think about Viktor Frankl’s “tragic optimism” and his quote, “what is to give light must endure burning”. Savannah chose optimism and gratitude. She exuded “light” to all who were in her path. She thanked those who cared for her. She said she loved us, repeatedly. She asked about how others were doing when they checked on her. She could have been a victim to her circumstances … and no one would have questioned her, not one person. People would have understood if she had acted miserable. However, she chose to “live” with optimism despite the challenges. Her choice to exhibit “tragic optimism” directly affected us in a positive manner. All four of my friends who are living with these traumatic circumstances are choosing to be optimistic amidst their tragedies. All have been stripped emotionally, but they choose to keep their mindset focused on what is important, what provides meaning, and what is of worth.
There are injustices in this world. People won’t treat you like you feel you “should” be treated. Traumatic things happen ALL THE TIME and will eventually happen in your world. You will experience heartache, pain, disappointment, despair, etc. We are assured of these things. There are countless stories about “grace under pressure”; persevering in difficult situations; living through trauma; and people thriving against unsurmountable odds. When you dig deeper, you realize these individuals are not “super human”. They are not magical. They do not possess anything that you don’t have already. They had a choice to make. They made it and it affected their life, well-being, and progress.
I ask you to take a look at this sketch of Savannah above. This is a priceless gift given to us by an amazing artist. Savannah is smiling, at peace, and content. We can choose to smile, seek peace, and be content in any circumstance, if we choose. It’s our choice. Viktor Frankl did in a concentration camp. Savannah did in a bed in ICU for 10 ½ weeks. My friends are who are facing difficult days ahead.
What’s keeping you?
Choose to be optimistic despite your circumstances and THRIVE!
Stephanie
I encourage you to check out this artist … she captured the essence of Savannah beautifully. Simply beautiful.
Website: sketched11.com
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