Ready to Get Out of the Quicksand?

My firstborn, Savannah, was always the first to line up, volunteer, and go first.  I’d say she was a natural leader.   When I look back at school or family pictures, more times than not, she was “front and center” … or as close as she could get.  No matter what the activity, she would just jump in with minimal regard for logistics or practicality.  Now, as she matured, she did become more of a “think-er”, a “consider-er” of sorts, but still, her nature seemed to take over and she would most probably volunteer and be all-in.  Savannah seemed to say, “I’m going to do it, no matter what. And, I’m gonna do it NOW!”.  Isabella, although another natural leader, exhibited a different modus operandi.  Her M.O. seems to be more of a “sit back and see” tactic.  Looking back at pictures, she was typically in the back or middle rows of school pictures.  During her childhood, I noticed Isabella evaluating situations and making decisions based on the information she gained BEFORE she went “all-in”.  She may or may not go “all-in”. Now both strategies to approach new tasks have their benefits and draw-backs. Whether we exhibit one over the other is a matter of personality, past experiences, and choice.

There are times that “jumping in” blindly is exactly what we need to do to get the ball rolling.  However, other times we must take a moment to look at the situation and consider the best course of action.  Otherwise, we may find that we’ve jumped in a pit of quicksand and unable to get out.

A conundrum exists.

If we are consumed with “ruminating about it”, thinking it over”, “researching it”, or “waiting for it to happen”, then we may never make forward progression with it.  We won’t take that first step that leads to progress.  Although we did not jump in the pit of quicksand, we may look up and one day we realize we ARE IN the quicksand and unable to move because of our inactivity.

So, when you consult Merriam-Webster’s definition of quicksand, you find the following: “sand readily yielding to pressure” and “something that entraps or frustrates”.

“Yielding to pressure” … do you find yourself succumbing to the pressure of fear, anxiety, insecurity, instability, uncertainty, the unknown, making a mistake, etc.?  Are you yielding to that pressure?

How’s that working for you?

“Something that entraps or frustrates” … do you feel trapped? Or, are you frustrated with your current circumstances? Maybe, you’re in a situation you dived right into and don’t know a way out.  Perhaps, you’re spending more time beating yourself up than trying to find a solution.  Are you spending more mental energy reacting to your frustration than proactively seeking a solution?

I’ll ask again … how’s that working for you?

Are you able to move forward?

Or, do you find you’re flailing about in the quicksand of life, you know, just trying to survive?

If yielding to pressure and reacting to your situations isn’t working for you and keeping you in the quicksand of life, I’d like to encourage you to a new way of thinking and responding.  Lifelines, of sort.

You see, I have faced several pits of quicksand in my life.  Some are obvious. Others, not so much.  I have jumped right into quicksand before and had to claw my way out.  AND, I have been paralyzed by fear and insecurity that kept me in the pit of quicksand with no way out.

I’ll share an example from my childhood.  I have a big mouth and I am loud.  I am an encourager and am energized when I am around a lot of people.  I have always had a knack for getting people involved in “whatever”. Now, I wanted to be a cheerleader in high school.  Honestly, I believed I had the personality and could develop the skillset.  Here’s the problem.  I was paralyzed by fear and insecurity.  I was a “big girl” and insecure, although I hid my insecurity (or at least tried to). Despite the fear and insecurity, one year, I decided to go for it.  I was going to try out for cheerleader.  I bought the try out clothes, attended the clinics, and learned “my business”. However, when try-out day came, I folded.  I did not try-out.  I just couldn’t do it. Fear. Insecurity. Failure.  They pushed me into the pit of quicksand.  I never did try out for anything else.

This wasn’t a devastating event in my life, at all.  Honestly, very few people knew I was trying out. Although it wasn’t “traumatic”, this event was impactful and insightful to me over the years.  When parenting my children, I encouraged them to try out for anything they may be interested in.  I ensured them, as their mom, I was not tied to the outcome (whether they made it or not).  No, I wanted them to know that the mere fact they were stepping out into the unknown and doing something was commendable.  If they made it, GREAT!  If not, they could move on to the next thing, interest, or desire.  Just keep moving forward!  (By the way, they’re both cheerleaders, and phenomenal ones, if I may say so!)

One lifeline out of the quicksand I learned over the years was to “go for it”.  Try out.  Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Don’t get so attached to the outcome that the fear of unknown prevents you from trying.  I want to encourage you to not worry if it makes sense right now or not.  God says that His followers will have the desires of our hearts.  If we are in line with God, our desires will become His desires.  It’s not our job to work this out, it’s His.

The second lifeline: to have a serious conversation with yourself about what you desire in life (the impact you want to make), especially if you’re not sure what you want to “try out for”.  Once you decide your impact, ask yourself, “What factors related to this do I have control of at this time?” Suppress any impulse at this point to allow worry or fear of the unknown to pop up and push you back into the quicksand.  It won’t be easy, but you can do this.   You do have control over some things so get in touch with them and write them down.

The third lifeline out of the pit is to look at your list.  These are the things that you do have control over.  From this list, trust God to provide you with the insight you need to choose your first step.  No matter how monumental or minute the step is, determine your first step. Then (you knew it), DO IT!!! Just that first step. One step is all it takes to begin getting out of the pit.  One step.

Now that forward progression has begun, discover your next step, then next, and so on.

A word of caution: you must take charge of your thoughts, words, and actions when you are choosing to get out of the quicksand.  When you “feel” those emotions that led you into and kept you in the quicksand rising up, get proactive.  Name it. Claim it. Change it.  I like the Holy Bible’s Good News Translation of 2 Corinthians 10:5 that says, “…we take every thought captive and make it obey Christ”.  You see, I like it because this helps me know that I have a choice to be proactive with my thought life and not reactive to it.  I can take these negative and counter-productive thoughts out of the equation and rest and trust in the faith I have that God is not the author of confusion and Christ has come to provide me with an abundant, thriving life.  I rest in the fact that God does not desire me to stay in the quicksand but to be in the Promised Land. The quicksand IS NOT the Promised Land!

This mindset shift is a choice I must make often, daily, and sometimes moment-by-moment.  I can stay in the pit of grief. I can stay in the pit of despair.  I can stay in the pit of insecurity. But, I choose not to at this moment.

I shared a childhood experience, now I’ll share a current experience.  I have been preparing for an exam that I will take soon.  This exam is important to me.  I will be honest and share that I have seriously thought several times about “quitting”, “rescheduling”, and/or “giving up”.  However, I’ve been reminded of the “cheerleader who never was” and I’m moving out of the quicksand.  I’m putting the work in I can at this moment and relying on God to do the rest.

I’m getting out of the quicksand.

How about you? Are you ready?

Discover your lifelines out of the pit of quicksand and THRIVE!

Stephanie