The sun rises. The sun sets. Darkness falls.
Then, miraculously, the sun rises, the sun sets, and darkness falls … again.
And, again.
And, again.
And, again.
Such is the rhythm of life here on Earth. A dependable, ordered process. With each new day, comes another new day, new week, new month, and new year. So, November 4th came and went. November 8th came and went. November 9th came and went. Now, we are looking in excited anticipation for November 13th.
This is life. Tomorrow always comes after today … and with this comes anniversaries of monumental events. On this November 4th in 2017, two families in our circle of friends, celebrated two blessed unions. Their friends and families anticipated that kiss, that cake, and that dance. Such anticipation and excitement for all in attendance to enjoy. Another group of family and friends celebrated a new life being brought into this world. This new life, not only marked a new creation, but also honored another gone too soon from this Earth. How exciting and utterly beautiful at the exact same time!
Now, the contrary. November 4th, 2017 also marked a precious soul entering into Eternity before anyone was ready for her departure from our world. I want to share a little about her. I was honored to pray diligently for this precious mother of two mere babes when she faced “that” diagnosis of breast cancer a couple years ago. I participated in the rejoicing of prayers of healing being answered. She and her darling husband prayed diligently for our sweet baby, Savannah, when she became critically ill. This picture is of an angel that reminded them of my baby. Last Christmas, this unbelievably thoughtful couple gave us this beautiful canvas. I remember Tim and I opening it. For a moment, I just stood there admiring its colors, texture, and strokes that created a beautiful representation of an angel. This angel sits high in my den overlooking all who come to our home. Well, as cancer does, it came back and did so with a vengeance. Although we had prayed diligently for one another, we had never met face-to-face. We had talked on the phone, texted, and Facebook messaged. Friends, you don’t have to meet in the physical to love in the Spirit, believe me, this I know! On this November day in 2017, one year from my baby’s entrance into Eternity, this sweet thang danced her way through the pearly gates!
Anniversaries from events with exciting and positive outcomes are anticipated. However, on the contrary, anniversaries with less than desirable outcomes are dreaded. Anniversaries arrive on certain days of the week, month, and year. They always come, whether in anticipation or dread.
They come whether you want them to or not.
They come.
Yes, for us, November 4th, 2017 marked one year that Savannah left this Earth and entered Eternity so very peacefully. That moment that occurred one year ago was peaceful for her, yet traumatizing for us. Ironic, isn’t it? Almost as ironic as 4 people in our small circle of friends having such monumental events the same day as our traumatizing, monumental event. Almost poetic.
As we were nearing the holiday season last year, a dear mom of a daughter gone too soon shared with Tim about her experiences with the holidays. People were concerned about us and how close it was to the holidays that we lost our daughter. Quite frankly, I wondered how we would get through them, as well. We love to decorate, eat, spend time together, play games, etc. Our family is THAT Griswold Family Christmas kind of family, if you know what I mean. (If not, check out the movie, Christmas Vacation, with Chevy Chase and you’ll get a glimpse of our idea of celebrating Christmas.) This wise woman full of compassion told Tim that she used to dread the holidays. That was, until, she realized that the dread of the holidays was worse than the actual holidays themselves. It is so true! On the actual days, we are with those we love and there is so much hype and activity that we couldn’t remain in a dreadful state. I am so thankful God sent her to us on our first holiday as a family of 3 instead of 4.
So, this brings me to November 4th. I made a conscious choice NOT to dread this day. I made a choice to let it be what it was to be. I made a choice to relinquish. I relinquished the dread. I relinquished the worry. I relinquished and determined that I was going to expect God to comfort me according to His design. He knows how He created me and why wouldn’t He take care of me on this day that He knows my heart will be heavy? So, I relinquished and RESTED. No, not physically rested. I allowed my soul to rest in Him.
Let me go back in time. Savannah moved into Eternity around 8:30 pm on Friday night, November 4th, 2016. We left the hospital about an hour later, devastated. We drove 4 hours to get our baby girl and immediately drove the four hours straight back to the hospital. Arriving at the hospital around 6:00 am, we gathered Savannah’s things, hugged and cried with those who had cared so beautifully for our daughter, and immediately went to the Healing House to gain a couple of hours of sleep and make “arrangements”. Torture. We drove home that Saturday evening and spent Sunday at Southeastern Louisiana University (SLU) at the regional cheer competition because Isabella wanted to compete with her high school cheer squad in honor of her sister. We sat in the stands, numb. Several squads knew of Savannah’s race and Isabella. We were blown away observing Isabella’s resilience as we admired signs of encouragement (from competing teams) for a fellow cheerleader and a sister who was devastated but charging on. So beautiful the outpouring of love for a fellow cheerleader from a rival squad!
Fast forward one year. November 4th falls on a Saturday and that regional cheer competition is a fundraiser for SLU’s spirit groups. Isabella, a SLU cheerleader, is now working the regional cheer competition she competed in last year to honor her sister. Wow! Tim and I aren’t sitting in the stands stunned. No, we are knee- and elbow-deep in nacho cheese smelling the essence of pickle juice working in the concession stand at the regional cheer competition. Let’s just say it’s hard to be too sad when you’re surrounded by someone yelling out directives. “Two nachos with chili and cheese!” “I need three pickles!” Yes, I rested in the concession stand at SLU covered in nacho cheese and smelling pickles. God knew how He created me. He knew I needed to be around people feeling like I was helping out, contributing. He knew I needed to “feel” valued and needed. I relinquished the dread and rested.
After our shift ended at 11:00 am, we drove back home to pick up boiled shrimp and boudin balls for the evening. Then, we took a nap. I relinquished and rested.
After our short slumber, we got up and prepared for precious family and close friends who were coming over to watch the big game. Yeah, right. Just watch the big game … God knew Tim and I would be comforted by being surrounded by those who never left our side during our 10 ½ weeks when Savannah was racing her heart out! (Thank you Freddy, Mallory, Scott, Melanie, Tyler, and Samantha!) He knew how He created us. He knew. We laughed, ate, and felt the love! I want to share this picture. Yep, a good night honoring our firstborn while feeling the love! This is how we spent the anniversary of Savannah winning her race. We relinquished and rested.
I also want to share how God continued to comfort me on these recent “anniversaries”. I spent November 8th waiting in line to finally meet face- to- face my brother-in-Spirit who had given us that beautiful angel canvas and prayed for my baby. His “other half” danced into Glory just a few days before (on Savannah’s anniversary). November 8th, 2016, Tim, Isabella, and I were greeting hundreds of people who came to honor her life. Now, one year later, I am looking in the face of a good man. A strong man. A broken man. A beautiful man. I “thought” I was there to encourage him. Yes, I “thought” I was there for him on THIS anniversary! And, indeed, I was. But, you see, God knew how He created me. He knew I needed encouragement. So, while waiting in line, God arranged for me to be hugged by people I had never met physically but whom I had an eternal connection. Eternal connection because they had prayed so diligently for us. God knew that I needed to hear, “I’ve been waiting a year to hug you!”. Wow! Amazing! He knew that my soul rested when I was able to hug this devastated husband as he grabbed me and said, “Come here, girl.” Yeah, I thought I was there for him. HE ministered to me! Praise God! This is an example of God using ALL things according to those who love Him. I could have stayed away in dread. Instead, I relinquished and rested.
Her funeral was the following day. Tim attended the funeral. He relinquished and rested. I spent the day traveling to north Louisiana, on that trip I have made SOOOO many times before. I was given the opportunity to speak at my parent’s church. It is such a beautiful, quaint country church. These people have loved on my parents as they live with stage IV lung cancer for the last four years. They supported us spiritually, emotionally, and financially through Savannah’s race. Nothing but love in that place! I was surrounded by so much love as I shared insights God and Savannah have blessed me with during and since her race. God knew how He created me and knew, on the anniversary of her funeral, that I would be comforted by these women loving on me and telling me what an inspiration my daughter AND my mother were to them. God knew. I chose not to stay in the bed and dread. Nope. I relinquished and rested.
On the way home the next day, because of the soul-rest God gave me, I was able to sing and enjoy the 4-hour ride home. Yes, indeed! I cranked that music up way too loud and sang my heart out. I listened to everything! I was reminded of Savannah’s celebration with the song, Chain Breaker and Trust in Him. I was reminded of going to Rod Stewart concerts with my good friend from “back in the day” and another Rod concert with “my man” while singing a recently released new version of Do Ya’ Think I’m Sexy?” … OH, YES I DID!!! No shame, here! I probably freaked out this Louisiana Tech college student who traveled with me from Winnsboro, LA to Woodville, MS. This kid and I passed each other what seemed like MILLION times as we were traveling down the same roads. Every time I was jamming out to things like Bob Seger’s Old Time Rock ‘N Roll. Honestly, it probably wasn’t pretty to see this woman bumping 50 in a “mom car” head-banging and throwing her arms about while driving. But man, these songs reminded me of times when “my man” and I were dating. Good times. VERY good times, indeed. Yes, I relinquished and rested.
Thank you, Jesus.
Isabella turns 19 on November 13th. I am so proud to be her mother. I, as noted earlier, am looking in excited anticipation to her birthday and the year that follows! You go, girl!!!
So, I say all of this to encourage you to RELINQUISH and REST. Relinquish the urge to micromanage, dread, worry, and/or fear. Rest in the knowledge that God knows how He created you and He knows just what you need to make it through whatever may be at your doorstep. Allow your soul to rest in this knowledge and anticipate to be blessed beyond measure. Allow yourself to be stretched and blessed. Who knows? You may get “that” hug that makes your heart melt? Maybe you hear the words that you’ve been waiting a year to hear? You just might be reminded of that exciting tingle of first love with your man while belting out good music? Or, quite possibly, you might be bathed in the Savior’s love one more time, at just the perfect time, JUST when you need it most?
Relinquish and Rest!
Please enjoy the song “Oh My Soul” by Casting Crowns I listened to while driving. I’ve heard this song who knows how many times before … but, I heard it in a different light. Yes, you can lay it down … that’s relinquishment … and you can choose to allow your soul to rest in Him (here’s the link to the song: https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=mcafee&p=oh+my+soul+casting+crowns+lyrics#id=1&vid=0a45124920755e0b09651330dc3cf4b1&action=click ).
Relinquish, rest, and THRIVE!
Stephanie