Seein’ Clear and Bouncin’ Back

Have you ever been driving in a deep, thick fog rendering yourself unsure which way to turn?

What about driving in severe rain, ice, or snow storms? Ever driven in storms so severe, you’re unsure what’s immediately ahead, so you just pull over until it subsides.

Although those questions have answers in the literal sense, what about the figural?

Have you ever felt you were in a fog so dense, you were unable to think straight or decide what to do next? Or, possibly, the fog was so prolific, you didn’t even CARE about moving forward.  You find yourself stuck.

Has “life’s events” felt so severe, shock sets in leaving you just waiting for this crisis to end while praying you can live through it?

Boy, I have and still do, on occasion.  The Grief Fog can envelop me and almost choke the life out of me.  The Fog comes out of nowhere and extends its stay if it wants and provides no warning regarding its arrival or departure.  There are other times, I get blind-sided and almost feel comatose.  I can’t move, even when the desire to move forward is there.  I am stuck feeling different than how I want to feel, in a place I don’t want to be, staying there longer than I’d prefer.

If we are truthful, at some point in our lives, the “fog” comes, or “severe weather” hits us.  When we hit a patch of fog, we are to slow down, turn on the headlights using the low-beam setting, and focus.  The directions to drive in heavy rain is almost the same.  Slow down.  Use your headlights.  Drive with ample space between the cars.

Driving in snow and ice is a bit trickier.  If possible, we should avoid driving in snow.  If we must go out in the snow, we must drive slowly, including accelerating and decelerating very slowly.  Stay WAY behind other cars.  Don’t stop if you can avoid it and make sure you know your brakes.  Try to avoid hills, but if you can’t, don’t stop.  Keep moving.  Also, preparations are needed before going out in a winter storm.  These include having cold-weather supplies in your car, ensuring the tires are ready and the engine is properly winterized, heading out with the gas tank at least half full, and never using cruise control.  It is also imperative to always warm the car up outdoors, never in a closed structure.

We can use this good advice for driving in these conditions figuratively, as well.  When “life happens,”

Slow down.  Don’t keep moving and piling more stress on yourself.  “Be still and know I am God” has been a lifeline for me during the last 32 months.  Psalm 46:10 commands us to take a moment and appreciate the majesty, omnipotence, and faithfulness of our God.  Slow down.  Be still.

Turn on the headlights.  Open up your field of vision.  See what’s around you.  Who is around you?  Get the best vantage point you can about your next best step, which may be through Bible study, meditation, talking to your spiritual mentors, or listening to your intuition.  Turning on the figurative headlights helps you see ahead.

Focus.  Maintaining focus when in the “storms of life” is crucial.  Staying focused on the road ahead means no multi-tasking while in the storm.  Focusing on staying between the lines and moving forward requires intention and energy until you’re out of the storm.  Don’t compound your ability to move forward by trying to do too many things.  Being in and driving through the storm is enough!

Give enough space.  When driving in severe weather, we make sure to leave enough room between the car we are driving and everyone else stuck in the storm.  It’s a judgment call as to how much space is needed between cars. The same is true when we are facing the storms of life.  We need space to slow down, see what’s ahead, and focus.  This space may come in the form of removing “toxic” relationships from our lives, going to the doctor for THE diagnosis and treatment plan, or getting off our backs and forgiving ourselves.  Space is vital to our ability to make it through the storm.

Don’t stop moving forward.  Specific to driving in winter storms is this fact: once forward progression is made, don’t stop!  Keep moving.  Once you do stop, you may not be able to start again, or you may spin out of control.  Keep doing whatever it takes to move forward.  Figuratively, moving forward is a choice we make, regardless of how we may feel.  You may be tired, hungry for something else, or not sure the trip is worth it.  It doesn’t matter. Keep moving forward.

Be prepared. Have your readiness/preparedness kit handy.  Although a winter storm kit may include blankets, water, snacks, batteries, and flares, a figurative kit to prepare us for those severe life-storms can include an assessment of what has worked in the past; mindset checks; perspective shifts; a knowledge of our strengths; our social network of friends/family; and a positive outlook.

Have enough gas.  Gas, the energy source for our automobiles, is required.  We must keep enough gas in our tanks to keep our cars running, especially if we get in a traffic jam and stall out on the interstate.  Likewise, we have to make sure we keep our energy levels up to the optimum performance.  This may be in the form of eating healthfully, exercising, and getting enough sleep.  We must make sure we are in the best position possible to be able to “weather the storm.”

Stay vigilant. Don’t use cruise control when traveling in a storm which could lead to a false sense of security and weaken our reflexes.  Making sure we are in control of our speed, proximity, and direction ensures forward progression the safest way possible.

Ensuring we travel through the storm in the safest manner possible develops resilience.  Resilience is the ability to “stay the course” no matter what detours come our way.  Resilience is developed not received.  It’s a process.  The simplest definition in Merriam-Webster I found defines resilience as “the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens; the ability of something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc.”  The Positive Psychology Center of the University of Pennsylvania has tons of information about resilience.  You can visit the site: resilience resources here.

We have driven our fair share of times in severe weather.  I am reminded of one time when we were going on a family ski trip up to the mountains of northern New Mexico, one of my favorite places on Earth, the Enchanted Circle.  We left Christmas night so the kids could sleep while we drove the 12+ hours.  We knew a winter storm had hit northern Texas and were monitoring the road conditions as we traveled.  Although passable, we were driving 5-10 miles an hour on interstate roads in the dark of night with nothing in sight but abandoned vehicles.  This scenery created a surreal feeling of anxiety, building up with each mile traveled.  This anxiety was fueled by the fact that we couldn’t stop.  No, if we had, we might not be able to get going again.  So, onward, we trudged.  Until, several hours into this madness, Savannah woke up and said she had to use the bathroom.  Now, this stretch of road doesn’t offer many “upstanding” establishments to relieve yourself in the wee hours of the morning anyway.  No, she couldn’t hold it.  So, we HAD to stop.  Thankfully, after our pit stop, we were able to move slowly on and about an hour or so later, FINALLY, as daylight began peeking over the horizon, the driving conditions improved.  We stopped at a rest area, and before I knew it, Tim had jumped out and was sprinting down the parking lot.  FREEDOM!  He had driven the whole time through the madness, and we were safe and sound!  The boy just had to run free for a moment!

This, running free and unrestrained, is what it feels like to make it through these storms.  FREEDOM!  Freedom from the storm achieved; resilience developed all by staying the course!  The resilience developed from living with and through the storm will be with us in our storm preparedness kit for the next batch of severe weather hitting us.

This weekend, we were traveling in the truck, and Isabella was the DJ.  She shared this song with Tim and me, assuring me I would know the chorus.  It was Grace VanderWaal’s, Clearly ( click here for video .)True to Isabella’s word, I did recognize the chorus.  This song is a remake of Johnny Nash’s hit from 1972, I Can See Clearly Now ( click here ).   I encourage you to listen to the lyrics of both songs.  These are anthems leading to resilience.  These songs offer “hope and courage” to face what comes!

Please enjoy this picture of Savannah and Isabella from one of our sacred ski vacations.  I consider these vacations “sacred,” because they were usually just us four, away from other distractions, just us.  In addition to sacred, they are priceless to me now.

We DID make it through the storms, prepared, and ready to hit the slopes!   Once we stayed the course safely and diligently, we were able to see clearly and bounce back from this difficult trip, only to go again! You, too, can begin to see clearly and bounce back.

May you develop resilience and THRIVE!

Stephanie

Click the “Play” button for the audio recording: