“Where are you?”
“Are you where you want to be?”
These questions aren’t meant to be solely regarding your physical “place” in life, but where are you spiritually? Emotionally? Socially? Professionally? In all aspects of your being, are you where you want to be?
Most likely, the answer to at least one area (if not more) is “not really”. Even the greatest of the great on Earth can improve because we are not in our perfected state, yet. There is always room for growth. Olympic athletes strive to be faster, stronger, more agile. Spiritual greats, like Billy Graham, were always seeking Him more. The social butterfly in your circle is forever looking to fly her wings with others. The CEOs of Fortune 500 companies surround themselves with people and innovative ideas so they and their company will be more successful.
“Where are you and are you where you want to be?”
Take some time and consider these questions. Slow down, become introspective, and really listen to what comes up with no judgement. Release yourself of the “shoulds” in your life. This is not to be a time of “Well, I should (or should not) have done this…” or “If only I had done whatever, I wouldn’t still be here.” No, there is no value in a should. None. Only judgement. There IS value; however, in recognizing where you’ve been and what you’ve learned from your life’s circumstances and the people in your path.
I am fortunate to be surrounded with people who support me, yet stretch me. They may not realize it, but “my people” are exactly who I need in my world right now. I have the honor and privilege of being the niece of a wise, beautiful aunt. She is one of the people who encourages and stretches me. Quite frankly, I am not sure she slept the entire time Savannah was in the hospital. She would send me “random” texts throughout the day and night that were EXACTLY what I needed at the time. One such text has been somewhat of a lifeline for me since November 4, 2016, the day Savannah moved into Eternity. My aunt reminded me (and I paraphrase) that “everything that has happened in my life up to this point has given me exactly what I need for this moment”. THIS is why, my friend, we must release ourselves of the “shoulds”. There is something to learn and grow from every wrong turn, bad decision, or situation gone different than we hoped. If we stop at “should” we never move forward.
I have become like a sponge, soaking in whatever I can from my world in the moment. I choose to believe there is something of value I can learn and grow from in every situation, person, and thought that comes up. I ask myself, “What can I learn from this”. I was not always this way. I went from almost feeling like “my world took a little from me” to believing that “my world is here to make me better”. By “my world” I am referring to the situations, people, and thoughts that cross my path at any time. I can choose to learn and grow from every experience I have had and will have on Earth. I believe that this is one of the nuggets that my daughter, Savannah, and God have taught me. I can still grow.
I did not have the choice, nor would I ever consider, giving up on Savannah (or Isabella, or Tim, or my extended family, or my friends … you get the picture …). I was NOT giving up on Savannah when she was in the hospital for those 10 ½ weeks. No matter how devastating the news was, I had to take in the information and consider how I responded to it. Now, please know, I was devastated at times, especially when told, “We are going to have to intubate her”, “I’ve never seen someone this critical before”, “We are going to have to amputate her arms and legs”, “There’s another infection and it’s resistant to everything”, and “This is it”. (Devastated really isn’t a strong enough word for what I felt.) I knew how very critical she was but I also knew that I could not take in my fear, worry, doubt, and negativity in to her hospital room. She has always had such a strong sense of empathy and Savannah would have sensed that from me. No! We had to start acting our faith out and BELIEVE she was healed and was thriving. I had to make sure that I was in charge of what I allowed myself to experience and enter my mind. I had to be in charge of my mindset. I had to believe that God has given me a sound mind, will never leave me, and loves Savannah more than I could imagine. He was in control, regardless of what it felt like. That was my mindset.
Physically, I was in my daughter’s hospital room. No, I was NOT where I wanted to be!!!! But, I was NOT going to let us get stuck there! We were going to grow despite our circumstances! And, grow indeed! I have no regrets with my daughter. She knows she is loved BIG and we know she loves us BIG! We appreciate every moment with her, regardless how heart-wrenching some moments were.
Thinking about “getting stuck” in that hospital room, I think the REAL questions here may be, “Are you moving?” Or, “are you stuck?”
Yes, these questions seem to be at the crux of progress and growth. “Are you where you want to be?” and “Are you moving?”
Our 10 ½ weeks were a severe, life-altering time in our lives. You may or may not find yourself in a severe, life-altering time. We were thrust in it and made the choice to adopt this mindset out of our survival and Savannah’s well-being. You may have to do this, too. Or, you could be at a comfortable, almost complacent, point in your life where you can spend some real mental energy contemplating whether you are where you want to be in your life. These are real, yet philosophical and life-altering questions that can promote forward momentum if we aren’t too afraid to ask them and open to the insights that pop up. Or, you can ignore them and stay where you are.
If you want to move forward and progress to the next level, I encourage you to engage in this exercise and answer these questions…
“On a scale of 1 -10, with “1” being as far as you could be from your ideal life and “10” being you living out your ideal life to its fullest potential, where do you fall? Write that number down. Now, ask,
“What would it take to get to just the next level?” For example, if you are at a “4”, what would it take to make it to a “5”? If that’s too much of a stretch, what about a “4.5”? Write down what it would take to get to the next level or an approximation of that level.
Maybe you find out there is one thing you can do to make progress. That’s ONE thing! That’s forward progression!
Maybe there are five things! You have choices! Which one do you want to do first?
Maybe you find that a “4” is really pretty good and you like it there. Maybe life isn’t so bad. Maybe you want to grow in another area.
The possibilities are endless, but I can tell you that you CAN grow if you are willing.
I have begun to play tennis at the age of 50. I have met some amazing, fun, and accepting women. One new friend sent this video in our group message. Please watch this and be inspired. There are NO excuses to prevent you from beginning to grow! http://www.espn.com/video/clip?id=22815654&utm_source=April+2018+E-NEWSLETTER&utm_campaign=2018+April+Newsletter&utm_medium=email
“I feel like a shooting star and I don’t know when it’s going to end.” Hurricane Hawkins
Riding a bike is hard. This is a picture of Savannah the first time she rode a bike without training wheels. Was it hard? Yep. Did she bust it? Yep. Did she learn? Yep. Did she ever regret it? Nope.
Grow and THRIVE!
Stephanie