Valentine’s Day is here. It’s a nice day to remember those in our life that we love. To confess, it’s just not a big deal at our house. Really, neither is Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. I know, I know … it’s “un-American” or something, but it’s true. Tim and I trade cards that are heartfelt but left around for a little while and pondered on for a few days, then they get lost in … well, LIFE. We get each other and our children “something” but it never is extravagant or “life-changing”, just sentimental and sweet. It’s a good thing in our home, just not a big deal. As I ponder why that is, I am struck that the feelings Valentine’s Day evoke, should be EVERY DAY. I am striving to make sure Tim, my husband, and Isabella, my daughter, KNOW that I love them immeasurably beyond the constraints of my English vocabulary. These “tokens” are manifestations or reminders that I give one day out of the year; however, I am striving to let them know that daily.
LOVE.
In our limited English language, we say we love chocolate with the same word that we use to convey that we love our children. In other languages, there are specific words for romantic love, friendly love, and unconditional love. So, how can I let my people know that I love them more than I love a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup? By my actions and my spirit. I can say, “I love you” and be thinking of a million other things. If the person I am directing this love to is completely present with me, not distracted by their own minds, they will feel the disconnect. My “I love you” will not be felt as genuine. It will be interpreted as mundane, routine, just something to say.
Think about it. It’s just three little words. I. Love. You.
However, when I look someone intently in the eye (you know, the windows to our soul) with my mind clear and say the SAME three little words, a completely different message is conveyed. The message seems (to me) to convey complete acceptance of everything about “me” while completely choosing ME and all that I bring into the fold. The message seems to let me know that there is nothing I can do that can make you feel any less in love with me. The message conveyed when genuine lets me know that you will be there with and for me THICK and THIN, through it all. Nothing can get in the way of our love for each other. The message, honestly, feels warm, cozy, and smooth.
Now, there are times in our lives that we or those in our life may become quite “difficult” to love. This may be due to our actions, behaviors, and/or words. A lot of things can make us difficult to love. This is when love becomes a choice…when it’s not easy. Those are the times that you may have to sacrifice what you want to do or you may just have to eat some words and/or forgive some other words spoken to you. You may just have to offer grace as you love them through this. These are the times that prove that the love you feel is real.
Let me back up.
It’s the day before Valentine’s Day. I find myself needing some love. I’m not talking romantic love, I mean, I just need to feel loved. Please understand that my people love me and love me WELL. I was just at a place in my life, in that moment, I needed to feel some love. My mind was brought back to the book and movie, The Shack.
Public Service Announcement: Now before I go on, I must share this disclaimer. I am not at a place in my life that I want nor will I debate hot topics, such as, religion and politics. Let it be known, I am perfectly fine with you having your views and passions. Mine may or may not be different. I respect you, nonetheless. Throwing that out there, I understand that some individuals and groups take offense to The Shack in written and/or video form. I, on the converse, do not. I am simply sharing my experience.
OK, I’m back now. So, I thought about The Shack and what I experienced while engaged in it. I had read the book when it first came out and thought it was a good work of fiction. It was a good read for me. I had a visual from the book that became crystal clear in December, six weeks after Savannah moved into Eternity. It was when the main character, Mack, was given the opportunity to see his daughter who had made it to Heaven before him. I remember I tore the house up looking for THAT book. Since our house flooded, I couldn’t find it. Unbeknownst to me, I could not find it because my daughter, Savannah, had it with her at college. Later that month, when I received the contents of her apartment, I found THAT book and know where she left off. I reread the book … you know I did!
Let’s just say, I was a completely different person during the second reading than the first. It became, not a good read or a book of fiction, the words on the page felt REAL to me. I could feel God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit engulf me. I watched the movie by myself a few months later when it was out in theaters. I had a completely different experience. The visual sense is soooo powerful, especially, when paired with the auditory sense that a movie can provide. (This is why we must be careful what media we allow in our world.) I can tell you that I experienced THE love of the Holy Trinity. I did not watch the movie for information, for clarity, or for doctrine. I simply experienced what the movie offered … a picture of the true love of God.
Back up to the night before Valentine’s Day. Since I needed some love, I gave Tim his card, gift, and asked him to snuggle on the couch with me and watch this movie. For me, a second time. For Tim, a first. He had read the book … before our world was rocked. We did not talk, we simply experienced. I felt loved and have kept that reminder of love for the last couple of days. I was reminded of Marvin Gaye’s song, Ain’t No Mountain High Enough. As I typically do, I turned this song into a song of worship. I see this song sang, not between two lovers. No, I see this song sung to God to us. Listen to the words. It’s powerful.
Of course, for me, when I sit to write a blog, I think of Savannah. Let me say, she was a lover-ER! She loved well, often, and BIG! She did so through her words, actions, and spirit. Her 23rd birthday will be Tuesday. Quite frankly, within the past 15 months, Savannah’s 22nd birthday was the hardest day of my life. But as you do in grief, you don’t get over, you live through. We lived through it.
I know you have loved your people on Valentine’s Day. However, I would like to encourage you to LOVE on February 20th. We set aside February 14th to love those we LOVE. I ask you to set aside February 20th as the day that you just LOVE. Love the checker at the discount store. Love your coworker. Love that stranger. Love nature. Love your animals. I don’t care … just LOVE. Also, on this additional day set aside for love, I encourage you to get in touch with God’s love … his unending, unconditional, unbelievable LOVE for you! Ingest it in. Experience it. It is there for the taking. Just because you don’t feel it, means nothing. It is always there for you. You can’t feel it because YOU are focused on the wrong thing … YOU! Ouch! Yep, that hurt me, too!
AIN’T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH that God can’t get to you!
Please appreciate this picture of my family. Gosh, I love these people more than I can humanly express. (I’m about to explode right now.) This is THE last family vacation we took as a family of four.
Please, if you choose to move forward with this encouragement, please post ways you loved on February 20th on our Facebook page: Alive 2 Thrive: in Honor of Savannah Payne. Let’s show the world that we can continue the love Savannah started. And, do this while listening to the smooth Marvin Gaye. https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=mcafee&p=ain%27t+no+mountain+high+enough#id=1&vid=0360beb7f1b5d8adfaf8aec91f9b1c86&action=view
LOVE and THRIVE!
Stephanie