“I have decided to stick with love, hate is too great a burden to bear.”
These are words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Today, as we remember his legacy, let’s soak in these words. “Stick with love”. “Hate” … “too great a burden”.
What are you sticking with? What guides your mindset and your day-to-day interactions with others? Are you fueled by love and the well-being of others? Are you an encourager? Do you lift people up or tear them down with your attitudes, actions, and words? Ouch.
This weekend, Isabella, my youngest daughter, participated in the national competition for collegiate cheerleaders. This is her seventh year to compete nationally, her second at the collegiate level. Both of my daughters cheered, starting in middle school. Both, Savannah and Isabella, have tasted what it is like to be the “best of the best”, having been bestowed the honor of a “National Champion”. They equally know what it is like to work hard toward a goal, yet, not “measure up” or not “make it” to the next level. They know the uncontainable euphoria of hearing your squad being named “National Champion” and the unspeakable devastation of “not” hearing their team’s name called. Our family has spent well over a decade being involved with cheer at the junior high, high school, and collegiate levels. That’s a lot of cheerleading!
Last year was my first collegiate competition to attend and I had the pleasure of meeting THE “cheerleader’s cheerleader”. He was a young man, I would guess in his mid-thirties, who had attended college national cheerleading championships since their inception over thirty years ago. I’m guessing he has attended these competitions his entire life. There was no doubt he was “all in”. He was decked out in all green, supporting his home team, the Michigan Spartans (if my memory serves me correctly). When I say, “decked out in all green”, I mean ALL green, even his beard was dyed green! He sported a green body suit, I think a cape, and an infectious smile! Yes, he supported HIS team, the Spartans, but he encouraged all of the teams participating. He sat on the front row and cheered for EVERY team! He chanted, hollered, cheered, performed hand motions, clapped…he was, indeed, ALL IN!
I couldn’t help it. I had to introduce myself to him. I, though, had to wait my turn in line. You see, he is a legend, of sorts. Cheerleaders look for him and are drawn to him. Once it was my turn to meet him, the competition had begun so we sat down beside each other on the front row. Me, waiting for Isabella’s squad to come out and compete, Spartan-man, just waiting to cheer on the cheerleaders. He did not tell me his name, only that he was the “cheerleader’s cheerleader”. He further explained that he was there to encourage those who encourage others. He was on a tight schedule, too. We consulted my program several times because he “had” to go see the other teams relying on him to cheer them on. Wow! The cheerleader’s cheerleader!
This year, my schedule did not allow me to attend the competition. So, I have been glued to my phone this weekend waiting to hear updates from Isabella. (By the way, if Isabella is still cheering, I WILL be going next year. I don’t like waiting!) Not only did she keep me updated on their status, Isabella sent me a picture of her with “Spartan-man”! This got me to thinking. Isabella is a “cheerleader’s cheerleader”, too. Well, not just cheerleaders. She lifts people up and encourages others, no matter what may be going on in her world. Honestly, both of my daughters are encouragers. How thankful I am. They know what it feels like to be disappointed, devastated, and frustrated. However, when they see that in others, they reach out to encourage them and lift them up.
I am reminded of one national competition. It was 2013, Savannah’s senior year and Isabella’s eighth grade year. Savannah’s squad had been named “National Champions” her sophomore and junior years. They were back again defending their title. They had certainly put in the time, blood, sweat, and tears; however, they missed it this year by a hundredth of a percentage point (or something crazy like that)! Isabella, competing her second year at the national level, was an eighth grader. Lo’ and behold, her squad was named “National Champs” that year…these announcements came just moments from each other! I have a priceless picture of them hugging each other, both fully engaged in loving on each other and supporting each other. Savannah, pushing aside her devastation to be excited for her sister. Isabella, containing her excitement so that she could love and console her sister. I have chill bumps remembering this moment. They were able to push themselves aside and focus someone else. A picture of beauty.
This, my friends, is what it’s all about! This is what it looks like to “stick with love”, not hate. Here’s a picture of Savannah and Isabella at THAT competition.
Isabella sent me another picture this weekend. Here it is:
It’s of Isabella holding a Disney token that says “Laugh”. The person who gave it to her said she has been waiting about 2 years to give this good luck charm out to exactly the right person to encourage them. She came up to Isabella, with tears in her eyes, and encouraged Isabella in a monumental way. Although, giving someone a Mickey Mouse good luck charm at a cheer competition may not sound like that big of a deal…believe me…IT IS A VERY BIG DEAL! It was a big deal for her to go out of her comfort zone and share something so intimate. It was a big deal for Isabella to hear that her enthusiasm and smile meant something to someone else. It was a big deal for Isabella to have some encouragement from someone else, since her biggest cheerleader is in Heaven. It was a big deal for this mom to know that others appreciate, love, and support her baby girl. A BIG DEAL!
I encourage you to never underestimate the power of a simple act of kindness. A smile, a hug, a word of encouragement, a thank you note, a listening ear…ALL POWERFUL!
I have spent the last two years working on keeping myself encouraged and on a path of forward progression, despite my grief. Research has proven that an “attitude of gratitude” is beneficial and contributes to an overall sense of well-being. Basically, research shows that grateful people are happy people. Happy people create more happy people.
Charles Dickens said, “Reflect on your present blessings, on which every man has many, not your past misfortunes, of which all have some.” Spend less time on what’s not right with your life and MORE TIME on what is good with your life. When we spend time reflecting on our blessings, we develop a grateful attitude. Gratefulness has been linked to greater happiness, social interactions and connections, spiritual health, feeling of being loved and care for, creativity, flexible thinking, and work ethic. Being grateful helps us feel good in the “here and now” AND helps us be optimistic about the future!
I like what Sir Winston Churchill is credited with saying. “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” We can choose to be grateful, share encouragement everywhere, and live an optimistic life…despite our circumstances.
Developing this “attitude of gratitude” is a powerful practice to put into place. Research tells us that being grateful has a benefit for us personally, as we have a more positive outlook, better health, improved relationships, and general feelings of happiness. A good life! There is an added benefit when we share our gratitude with others, not only are we encouraged, we are now sharing the encouragement to create positive movement IN others. The cycle continues.
Simply writing down 5 things we are grateful for and reflecting on them has been shown to have a lasting benefit in feelings of well-being. It is as though we are catapulted into a whole new dimension of happiness when we are intentional in being grateful.
Research suggests that when we take our gratefulness a step further and act on it, we receive exponential benefit! Researchers found that those who participated in a simple exercise received the benefit of increased feelings of well-being for months later! Participants wrote a note of gratefulness thanking someone who had done something on their behalf. After writing the note, the participants reflected on the note. Then, hand delivered the note and read it to the recipient. Just that simple act of gratefulness and thanksgiving improved their sense of happiness for six months!
So, if you find yourself having a bad day, consider implementing these two exercises of gratefulness. Begin writing down 5 things daily you’re grateful for and reflecting on them. Then, if you want an added boost, write that note, hand deliver it, and expect to feel better for doing it!
I’m reminded of the song, Counting Every Blessing by Rend Collective https://youtu.be/w6Y91axwxfI. Listen to it. Good stuff!
Count your blessings, encourage others, and THRIVE!
Stephanie