A couple of weeks ago, I did something I’ve never done. It was a monumental event, really. I bought a couple of sleeveless shirts. You could call them “cute tops”.
I did. I really, really did. Now, I know that isn’t a big deal for most people but, believe me, it’s a BIG DEAL. Stephanie does not do sleeveless. Nope, I just didn’t do it regardless how hot it is. I was the one in a ¾ length sleeve at the annual 4th of July bar-b-que. I know wearing sleeves in Louisiana on July 4th makes no sense. July is hot down here in the South. My body and brain knows that going sleeveless makes sense in July. However, my mind with its own insecurities just wouldn’t let me wear sleeveless. My personal “sleeves-only” policy has been in place for years, well, really my entire life. It’s taken me 50 years to purchase sleeveless tops.
The sleeveless revolution began this year when I started playing tennis. Not only did I begin to wear sleeveless shirts when playing this Spring, I wore tennis skirts, as well! Talk about monumental!
This primed me to begin considering a sleeveless “cute top”. I feel the need to clarify something. There is a difference between a “shirt” and a “cute top”. Shirts are simply worn because we must wear shirts. A shirt is worn when at home, with your people, and for no special occasion. A “cute top” is worn to social events, at engagements with people you don’t know, and at special occasions. A “cute top” makes a statement. A “shirt” is practical.
Shopping for this “big girl” has never been something I particularly looked forward to…no, I don’t need another reminder that it doesn’t come in “my size”, I’ll have to try that on to “see if it fits”, or it won’t go around these “big arms”. In my mind, the “sleeves-only” policy was looking out for all of humanity by keeping these winged limbs covered. It wasn’t just for my security, it was for other’s safety that I wear sleeves. It was quite monumental that I was even considering revising my “sleeves-only policy”.
Going sleeveless was never considered. You see, I am a “perimeter shopper”. When going into a “clothing establishment”, I begin the shopping process with a general scan of the premises. I scope the territory out for colors and styles I am drawn to at the time. I decide where I am going to focus my efforts and “there I go”. I scan the racks (always the back of the rack because that’s where the larger sizes are found), make sure there are sleeves, and, if nothing catches my eye, I’m gone! I don’t touch every item or pay attention to any details. I simply search the perimeter, chart my course, survey the merchandise, and if nothing grabs me, I’m outta there! Shopping has four steps for me. Focus. Scan. Choose. Leave.
So, the other day, I am looking for a couple of cute tops to wear to upcoming engagements. My eye was drawn to one shirt. It was flowy, had a rich color, and I could just envision the outfit. Much to my horror, I pulled it off the rack and immediately I felt that familiar lump in my throat. It was sleeveless. I hung it right back up and literally walked past the cutest top in the ENTIRE store because it was sleeveless. I foraged through a couple of other tops like I was starving to find THE top. However, I just couldn’t get THAT top out of my mind. Right then and there, I made the decision. I pulled the plug on the policy. It was time to revise the policy that had been in place for 50 years. I was going sleeveless! “Get the top”. So, I got the top. On the way to the checkout, I spied yet another sleeveless top. GET THE TOP! So, I got ANOTHER top! I now have two sleeveless tops.
The policy has been revised.
At this moment, I am sitting on the balcony in Perdio Key, Florida. I’m 50 years old, wearing a sleeveless top, and, as soon as I type the last word, I’m putting on a bathing suit. So many previous “hang-ups” are present in this moment. If I strictly adhered to the “sleeves only” policy, I would not even allow myself to be at the beach. Or, if I did allow myself to go, I would be sweating profusely on this balcony (in sleeves). The most devastating of all would be that I would possibly miss experiencing beach time with family and friends (because bathing suits don’t have sleeves and I’m worried the world will end if I put on a bathing suit).
It’s time to revise the policy. For me, the “no sleeves policy” is directly related to my insecurities, or “hang-ups”. I’m not sure where I got the thought that the world would end if Stephanie Payne wore sleeveless in public. Yikes!!! But, let me say, it was a real and legitimate fear. My brain did not know that the world would NOT end. It felt like a real fear.
I believe we all have “hang-ups”.
“Hang-ups” don’t make sense. They are illogically formed by a thought, experience, or teaching we’ve been exposed to at some point in our lives. We get these preconceived notions in our minds then behave in ways consistent with these illogical thoughts. “Hang-ups” can revolve around our physical being (i.e., receding hairlines, unusual toe formation, or large arms or thighs) or our mental being (related to our perceived intelligence, social status, or confidence level).
“Hang-ups” do just that. They hang us up in this illogical, closed-minded world of our own design. Your brain does not know that the world WON’T end but our minds do. Our minds know that’s it is illogical to wear sleeves in July because it is 98 degrees and the heat index is 107 degrees. However, our closed-minded hang-ups just won’t let us. So, we either don’t go or we sweat!!
Our “hang-ups” keep us from experiencing freedom in our lives. We just try to survive this existence and, subsequently, we don’t thrive. “Hang-ups” keep us on the sidelines of this game called “life”. Our “hang-ups” prevent us from speaking up when what we have to say is valuable. They discourage us from getting out of our boxed-in lives. They limit us from living and learning by helping us avoid rich experiences based on illogical thinking.
I want to encourage you to throw the “hang-ups” over the balcony! Free yourself of them!
What illogical thinking do you allow yourself to engage in? What is keeping you from being spontaneous, having fun, and experiencing life? There’s your “hang-up”!!! Shed it!!! Unleash it! Buy the sleeveless top! Wear those sandals! Speak up! Join the club!
Here’s a picture taken celebrating Tim’s birthday at Wahlburger’s in Orange Beach, Alabama. If you look closely, you can get a glimpse of one of my sleeveless tops AND my arms. Freedom!
#sleeveless
Let’s start a revolution of living life to the fullest and shedding our “hang-ups”. If you are ready to join the revolution, please post it to our social media platforms: Facebook – @alive2thrivesavannah; Instagram – @im_alive_2_thrive; and Twitter – @imalive2thrive and use the #sleeveless tag including your own personal “hang-up” that you are shedding. For example: #sleeveless #curlytoes
Go sleeveless and THRIVE!
Stephanie
One thought on “#sleeveless”
Wtg Stephanie!!! ❤️
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