Last Sunday morning, I had the privilege of speaking to the leadership of thirteen states at the Farm Bureau Southern Regional Presidents and Administrators Conference in Baton Rouge, LA. I was thrilled and honored to be asked to lead a devotion on Sunday morning. I spoke about encouragement and was hopeful I could encourage these ladies and gentlemen in their faith. As usual, I was the one encouraged! God allowed me to meet some amazing people from all over. The compassion and empathy I received from them was immeasurable and EXACTLY what I needed in my reserves to face the week ahead. Later that night, Tim and I traveled to north Louisiana to Ruston, LA.
Monday, Tim and I helped serve those working to clean up the devastation left from a deadly tornado that ripped from our beloved Ruston, LA. It was a day spent sharing hugs, words of encouragement, and hope with every plate of food and bottle of water given away. As I sat down last week to blog, nothing came. Perhaps, it would be more correct to say, “everything” came. My brain was flooded with so much that I was unable to collect my thoughts together enough to blog. As I strive to keep this blog “Spirit-led”, if I sit to blog and nothing comes, I don’t blog that week.
Last week was one of those weeks. As the week progressed, I became more assured of one fact. With every post I read, every text I received, and every video I watched, I could see Ruston transforming into a community of unity, humility, and resilience. This trio (unity, humility, and resilience) appears to be the result, perhaps gift, of living with and through a traumatic event. Although my heart aches for my beloved Ruston, it also waits in anticipation for the growth this community will experience, especially in unity, humility, and resilience. When this trio comes together, compassion and empathy abound. I love you Ruston!
Today, I’m seeking to get back into my groove. Seated in “my” chair outside on my porch with birds chirping, dogs standing guard against the squirrels, and my eyes open for butterflies, I begin to collect my thoughts for this blog. Several weeks back, I noted my desire to be an “avenue of hope” for others. Furthermore, I desire to share whatever practices support me in my endeavor to thrive all the days I have left. I thought about the equation to thrive I live by … Perspective Change + Mindset Shift + Stress/Anxiety Management = New Philosophy on Life. When faced with the harsh reality of life, I grab my B.E.A.D.S. (find my Balance, Experience stillness, Ask God for whatever I need, Delight myself in His love, and Savor the moments) which helps me get into position to gain a new perspective. I make a choice to stop any line of thinking that is contrary to my ability to thrive by asking myself, “How can I think about this differently?” This morning, I remind myself that the answers that arrive from this question are my choices I have available to me. I can choose which mindset I want to move forward in a given situation.
Today’s blog revolves around the last factor of the equation, “Stress/Anxiety Management”. I come from a long line of worriers; it’s in my blood, so to speak. Anxiety can hijack me at any point in time causing my stress-level to go into overdrive. I can feel anxious in a “quick-minute” over really nothing … just a random thought. As a kid, I bit my fingernails and have been known to pull my hair out. As a teen, I learned to be a first-class, stress-eater. As an adult, my sleep suffered. I know an optimal degree of stress is good and keeps us moving; however, too much stress gone awry can wreak havoc on our health, spiritual growth, relationships, creativity, and every other aspect of our lives. Anxiety and stress are forces in our lives that must be managed. Management requires work. Work requires action. Action must be intentional. Therefore, I must work on keeping stress and anxiety in check. I must be on top of them, NOT them on top of me!
I consider grief as a subset of stress and anxiety … a form, so to speak. When grief overtakes me, it feels very much like stress has hijacked my body and mind as anxiety latches on tight! Following Savannah’s move into Eternity in November 2016 and us moving back into our previously flooded home, I roamed around our house aimlessly for a couple of weeks. Days spent moving piles and trying to reorient myself into this house I haven’t been in for 10 ½ weeks while attempting to process what a family of 3 is. I was shocked, stunned, and, frankly, DONE! My attention span was that of a gnat. I would walk through rooms and wonder why I went in there. I would sit down and just shake my head in disbelief. As the moments, days, weeks, and months passed, the time spent roaming aimlessly, moving piles, re-orienting myself lessened and my attention span began to expand … well, somewhat.
By January 2017, I began feeling like there could be a light, although I couldn’t see it yet. There MUST be a light at the end of this tunnel of grief, stress, and anxiety. It was at that point in early January, I decided to become intentional in my healing process by attempting to gain control of my stress and anxiety. I’m going to share a few of the practices I have found that contribute to my well-being. This is not meant to be a checklist for anyone. Stress/anxiety management is an individual process. We are all created uniquely, and I believe God will reveal to each of us what we need to live our optimal, “greater than we can imagine”, thriving life. Looking back, almost 2 ½ years after making this choice, it is evident these are not only researched-based practices, but Biblically-based. I share this list with you to be a catalyst for anyone desiring to take control of their stress and anxiety level.
- Writing – I began blogging about my healing process early January 2017 to chronical my journey. Journaling is a powerful practice toward well-being and growth.
- Healthy Eating – Engaged in several cycles of the Whole 30 eating plan during 2017, beginning in February.
- Exercise – Joined a health club in April 2017 to reap the benefits of exercise and increase social interaction; however, was not consistent in attending.
- Yoga – Started practicing yoga, first at a studio, then on my own, in May 2017, because stretching, breathing, and taking care of our bodies have been shown to be beneficial practices.
These practices positioned myself in a place when the Grief Fog came to visit, as he did so often (and still does), I could begin to manage the stress and anxiety in a shorter period. During the first year, writing maintained as a consistent reprieve for me. Healthy eating, practicing yoga, and exercising were sporadic throughout the year; however, I was able to see the benefits of each.
January 2018 began with a reevaluation. I reevaluated my goals, purpose, practices, and spiritual development. January was spent assessing what I wanted to do when I “grew up” and how I wanted to live the remainder of my life. Practices were reevaluated and tested out throughout the year.
- Writing – Continued blogging and seeking to write a book.
- Goal setting – Set and evaluate my long-term goals and short-term objectives to stay on track toward growth.
- Exercising – Stepped onto the tennis court in January 2018 and, today, continue to receive the benefits of exercise, social interaction, well-being, and balance.
- Healthy Eating – Spent 2018 determining what foods are best for me considering my well-being, family history, and overall health.
- Meditating – Determined to live a Psalm 46:10 kind of life by meditating regularly.
- Character Strengths Living – Discovered top character strengths and strive to incorporate them into my daily life so that I may live a life according to what I was created to do.
This year, I maintain these practices adopted in 2018 with the addition of:
- Mindset Evaluation and Perspective Shifting – When I find myself engaged in a line of thinking contrary to continued growth, I begin “thinking about my thinking” and make the changes needed.
- Using Essential Oils – To stabilize and improve my mood and overall sense of well-being, essential oils are used in various ways throughout my day.
- Monitoring Social Media – Research shows as social media engagement increases, the sense of well-being decreases; therefore, I intentionally monitor my time spent on social media sites.
Over the course of the last 30 months, I have finally achieved a sense of balance. This is not to say that grief doesn’t take over at times causing stress and anxiety to hijack me. No. That’s my reality. What I can say is that I have discovered through God’s guidance, much research and soul-searching, and good ol’ trial-and-error what I need to do to “get my groove back”. When I get back into the groove, I find I am in sync with how God created me which enables me to begin to live my best life He intended for me.
I’ve shared this picture before of Savannah doing a backbend on a paddle board. Talk about BALANCE! We must find our balance and one way to do this is to rely on Scripture. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us God does not give us a spirit of fear. Scripture tells us He gives us a spirit of “power, and of love, and of a sound mind”. We must recognize when we are anxious, and stress is overtaking us. We must use our sound mind to find our balance and “get our groove back”. I hope this list will help you discover your own “groove getters”.
Here’s a picture from this morning’s yoga and meditation. Macheaux is doing his own version of “downward dog”.
I’d love to hear how you “get your groove back”! Please respond by leaving a comment below.
God bless you as you find your groove and THRIVE!
Stephanie