Last year about this time, I had the pleasure of going on my first Caribbean cruise. It was with my daughter’s senior class, so we did what they wanted to do on the excursions. One of the stops we made was in Jamaica. I was thinking about that trip a couple of days ago and how it was chock full of laughter, late nights, good music, and plenty of food, fun, and sun. I wasn’t sure how much fun it was going to be at the onset of the cruise because, you see, Savannah, my firstborn was originally planning on going on the cruise with me to be my travel partner…because very few seniors are wanting to “babysit Mom” on a cruise with “their” people! Now, we realized that Savannah was not going to be able to go with me on the cruise soon after we talked about it, but nonetheless, I knew I would be thinking about her while cruising the Caribbean. I will tell you, all things considered, I had a blast, despite my grief! Yes, I thought often about what she may be experiencing in Heaven as I looked over beautiful, vast skies and blue/green waters of the Caribbean, tasted fruity drinks and ate good food. Let me also share that there are some good and fun people in the Central community! I was surrounded by good people!
I was thinking about the excursion in Jamaica. We went to a beautiful waterfall in the mountains. At this waterfall, you hike up the mountain and jump off cliffs of varying heights into crisp, cool water. As we are hiking up, one of our dear friends asked me, “Steph, are you going to jump off? Are you going to do this?”. My response, “Well, Tim (for the record, Tim, our friend, not my husband), it depends on which Stephanie makes it up this mountain”. I said, “Sometimes I’m fearless and other times I’m scared to death!” “I never know which Stephanie is here until I get ready to do something.” If you’re wondering, the fearless Stephanie showed up at the top and jumped off the cliffs. I must be completely honest, it wasn’t something pretty but it was something!!!! It was “some kind of fun”, for sure!!! By the way, Isabella and I had hoped to take her daddy cruisin’ this summer. Unfortunately, we are just too busy this summer to get it in…so, hopefully, Thanksgiving will work.
As I was thinking about all of this, I was reminded that 32 years earlier I had flown to Jamaica with my best friend, her parents, and several of our closest compadres who had graduated high school with us. I was sooo fortunate in high school to be surrounded by “good folks”. Now, at the time, I did not know they were “good folks”, but indeed they were (and still are). I just knew I had some good friends I really liked hanging out with ALL the time. (Life Lesson: It is very important “who” your people are. They make an impact on you for a lifetime.) I savor the time I had with them. Anyway, I remember parasailing and getting a peak at a nude beach, “saving” one of my best friends from “drowning” in waist deep water (well, almost), and taking the wildest ride up the mountain on the WRONG side of the road in a beat-up old van (it was worse than the craziest roller coaster!!!). I have always wanted to take my family back to Jamaica but have never done it. Oh, how I wish I could have taken Savannah, but it was quite nostalgic. No, it was precious to be with my baby in Jamaica on the 32nd anniversary of my high school graduation trip with my dearest friends. I savor that time with her.
Research shows that the benefit is greater when we have “experiences” as opposed to acquiring the “good stuff”. What does that mean? It means that over time that jolt of excitement and happiness experienced with the brand-spanking new car, the latest cell phone, the lightening quick new boat, and the exclusive new designer bag begins to wear out over time. That new car loses its “new car smell”. There is always a new version of a cell phone coming out that is EVEN BETTER than yours. The new boat must be maintained. The designer bag doesn’t transition to the next season. Stuff doesn’t change and the excitement wains. In contrast, experiences can be remembered. They almost seem to become “sweeter” over time with each remembrance. Not only do you experience that excitement again, but the people you tell about your experiences receive a benefit. They become energized reliving the event with you, even though they were not with you! Here’s another benefit…people actually like you BETTER when you talk about your experiences than when you talk about your stuff!!! Nobody likes being around someone who boasts, but they love hearing about your experiences!
I cherish my “experiences” now that I have had with Savannah, Isabella, and Tim…I cherish my experiences with ALL my people! I make sure I remember those experiences and share those experiences. This makes up the “good” of the Good Life! In the essence of Jamaica, here’s a quote from THE Bob Marley, “If you don’t start somewhere, you’re gonna go nowhere”. Who wants to live their life going NOWHERE! No one does.
So, where are you going to go?
What experiences are you going to create?
Here’s the thing, these “experiences” don’t have to be expensive trips to Jamaica. Nope, experiences can be free! One of my favorite Spring Breaks spent with my family was when we decided to have a “stay-cation”. We couldn’t afford an expensive trip to the beach so we each decided to come up with several ideas. We put ideas in a bowl and picked 5. Cell phones were put up during the day. Each day that week, we did a different thing. One night we camped in the yard with all the “wildlife”. Another day we went fishing at the grandparents. We went to Kiroli park, played tennis, and rode bicycles on another day. None of these things cost money but all of these things are remembered.
There is a “method to this madness” of realizing and feeling the “benefit” from these experiences. The first thing to do is “savor” the experience while you’re in the moment. While you’re getting a snow cone with your child or grandchild, take yourself out of the moment and look how precious your baby looks with that blue syrup dripping off of their chin onto their crisp white shirt. When you’re in the car with your spouse making a Wal Mart or Lowe’s run, just look at him or her as if it was the first time. Remember what it was like “back in the day”, you know, get in touch with those tingly feelings. Take the time and energy to hear the hummingbird’s wings buzz as they are drinking from the feeder you keep filling up. Look your dog in the eyes and communicate to him that you love him and are so glad he’s here with you. Savor. The next thing to do is share these experiences with others. Talk about them with others. This helps your happiness and well-being monitor go off the charts! Plus, you help others get a jolt of their happiness and well-being, too. Share. Sharing the love WORKS!
This picture is Isabella and I on our first cruise. Such love and happiness there. Belle and I just laughed as we remembered the crazy banana boat ride! Good times!
I encourage you to Encourage, Savor, Share, and THRIVE!
Stephanie